Ego

This week I finally understood the law of attraction. I’ve been writing about it for a while, but on Tuesday something finally clicked.

I used to think of myself as a passive participant in life. I used to think the Universe acted upon me and there was nothing I could do about it. I guess I held a bit of a victim mentality, a “the world does stuff to me and I don’t like it but there’s nothing I can do about it,” perspective.

I finally understood though that’s not true. That for the most part what I experience in my life comes from the thought-waves I project. Enlightened beings – angels, gurus, etc. – intervene from time to time but mostly I’m responsible for my own reality. For the most part, my life is what I make it. If I choose to be stressed, I will be. If I choose to be relaxed I will be. But beyond my mood and how I choose to react to things, I also create situations for myself. If I worry I’ll be stuck in a dead-end job, I also create that reality.

From that point I jumped to the understanding anything is possible. I realized thought-waves and mental vibrations can truly create anything and everything. From there I took a dangerous, ego-filled step to believing I can do anything. I even wrote, “The universe is my plaything. It’s a big ball of clay to be molded.” And while I do still believe anything is possible and the mind can accomplish great things, I overlooked some important points. I started on an ego-trip, feeling puffed up by my own power.

What I stepped away from is knowing I do not run the show. There is an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent entity that has a much broader perspective than I do. The things that happen in my life? God/Paramapurusa/the Supreme Entity/the Universe/Cosmic Consciousness allows them to happen. I don’t even know “allow” is the best word but it’s the best I can come up with. I’m stepping back and remembering God truly makes everything happen. I may be given the capacity to do things, but that capacity was given to me by God. Everything I do in my life, everything I’m capable of, everything I experience is because of God’s grace. Yes, there is an interplay of energy, I send out a thought-wave, God sends something back, but that’s the crux of the matter: God sends something back. “I” do nothing.

I guess what I’m saying is God ultimately decides everything. God decides whether to “grant” me my desires. God decides the timing for everything. God decides. Yes, there is some autonomy on my end but mostly it’s a partnership with the Universe. I am neither superior nor inferior to God but my human mind can only grasp so much whereas God can see the past, present and future, so God can determine whether my desires are in the highest good for all parties involved.

Lastly I wanted to say I am a divine instrument. God works through me, through everyone. God uses me as a tool to accomplish certain things. The more I brush my ego aside – my wants, my desires, my way of thinking – the better. Getting caught up in my own selfish yearnings will ultimately be my undoing. So again, this is where surrender comes in for me. Aligning my will with God’s will, wanting only what God wants for me and also recognizing everything in my life is through God’s grace.

And I also wanted to say there is no separation. I am God and God is me and we are united. “I” ultimately do not exist, rather I am a specific manifestation of God, pieced together in a certain way to accomplish a certain task at a certain time. I am one with the Supreme and the Supreme works through this human body to achieve things in the physical realm. We are one and the same. So truly the only barrier between me and God is my ego, which is why it’s all the more important to realize what entity truly holds all the cards.

I dream of a world where I and others like me do not fall into an ego trap. Where we crumble our egos and allow God to work through us like the divine instruments we are. Where we truly remember everything in life comes to us through God’s grace. Where we strive not for money, prestige and occult powers, but for love, liberation and pure bliss. Where we know anything is possible but ultimately our power comes from a source greater than ourselves. Where understand we each have a divine purpose and we try to attune ourselves to what that purpose is. Where we see God in everyone and everything and know we are special because we are a specific incarnation of divinity put on this Earth for a specific reason. Where we give love, receive love, know love. Where we wake up and try to realize our true potential as human beings. Where we surrender our desires and strive instead to know God’s will for us.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.