What We Want Already Exists — We’re Just Playing Catch Up

I think about when I was a freshman in college at UNC – 17 years old, depressed, feeling out of place, out of the house before I was ready, desperate for friends. Desperate. My brother is a social butterfly and he encouraged me to, “Just go up to people! Say hi! Make friends!” It didn’t work. It really didn’t work. I spent months going up to random people in the dining hall asking if I could sit with them. I had the same conversations over and over again: “Where are you from? What are you studying?” It was horrible. Really, really horrible. I walked around in a state of frenzy and desperation essentially asking, “Are you my friend? Are you my friend?” The answer was invariably, “No.”

I give kudos to my past self for being so brave and courageous. I put myself out there over and over again to basically get shot down repeatedly. I would meet someone, it would be awkward, we wouldn’t talk again. You know what finally happened? I relaxed. I let myself go with the flow and wouldn’t you know it? Friends! I relaxed into it and because I unclenched my energetic fist, I allowed the energy to flow, to move, and then of course it happened. I’m recognizing there is a cosmic flow to life and I am an energetic being. I recognize I get whatever I put out. If I think it’s hard to find friends it will be. If I think people don’t like me, they won’t. It reminds me of that saying, “When you smile the whole world smiles with you,” (which apparently is also a song!).

Have you ever noticed when you’re feeling great, like today will be a great day, often everything goes your way? But when you feel icky it’s just the opposite? I think it’s the same with feeling lack or lamenting what I want isn’t here yet. If I keep being reminded it isn’t here yet that’s the energy I’m putting out and then of course it won’t be here.

Really the best way I can explain what I’m feeling is to show this YouTube video of a talk by Abraham Hicks:

I love that. Everything I want has already been created and I just have to allow myself to be drawn in. Not make myself go there but allow it. Just like I did with friends. Allow it to happen naturally. Allow myself to rendezvous with people I am drawn to instead of forcing myself to go up to those I am not on the off chance we could be best friends.

Everything I want has already been created and the only thing keeping me from it is me. My fear, my lack of worthiness, my belief it can’t happen. But you know? I am a divine child of God so I deserve to rejoice in life and I deserve all the good things coming my way. Not because I won a Nobel Prize or cured cancer but because I am love incarnate. Because I am the blessed daughter of Parama Parusa/Cosmic Consciousness/Brahma/the Supreme/God/Infinite Love. So why not? Why can’t I have everything I want? You know what? I can.

I allow myself to have everything I want knowing it’s already been created. I know I deserve to rejoice in life, I deserve all the pleasures life has to offer. I know I am worthy and deserving of love and respect and abundance. So I say, “Yes please, thank you.”

I dream of a world where we all allow ourselves to get what it is we want. A world where we know all our needs and desires will be fulfilled with time. A world where we understand life is about flow and movement and that means letting ourselves be carried. A world where we let ourselves dream big and know those dreams will come true if we let them.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.