I am very much the kind of person that when I see a problem I want to jump in and fix it. I have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and assume if I don’t take care of something, it won’t get done. I’m reminded this week that actually, if I don’t do something, I leave space for someone else to take care of it.
This notion has come up several times this week. I’ll give a small example. On Friday night, I walked by my neighbor’s apartment and I noticed her curtains were open. Through the curtains I saw candles burning and she wasn’t home. Me, being who I am right now, freaked out and started envisioning her place burning down, and then my cottage burning down because I’m her neighbor. I thought about knocking on her door, or calling the manager, or the fire department, or somebody because this needed to be taken care of RIGHT NOW.
I aspire to be like the woman in this picture — at ease, relaxing while I let someone else drive.
My intuition said, “Hold up sugar. You don’t need to rush to her aid.” I didn’t quite believe this (my fear impulse can be VERY strong), so I went outside again to make sure I still saw candles burning. When I did, her cat skittered by, which reminded me he hadn’t been fed yet or put back inside, so I knew someone else would see the candles and take care of it when they checked on the cat. Sure enough, half an hour later, her curtain was drawn and then her lights went out so the whole drama that I concocted resolved itself without me having to lift a finger.
I forget this lesson regularly, that other people can manage the affairs of life. I forget that by me always jumping in, always coming to the rescue, I’m depriving someone else of their chance to step up. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t always have to be in charge, I don’t always have to be the leader, I don’t always have to volunteer to organize. If I don’t, someone else will. That’s not to say I need to go to the other extreme and always allow other people to step up, but I can start to have more balance. I can take the middle road and recognize some things will get taken care of, even if it’s not by me.
I dream of a world where we understand we don’t always have to take care of everything. A world where we let other people step up as need be. A world where we realize we don’t have to be in charge all of the time. A world where we give space for someone else.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This may seem like another New Year’s resolution-y blogpost, but I promise it’s not. Especially because I operate under the belief a new year, a new day – even a new you – can start at any time.
What’s been coming up for me a lot (regardless that it’s a new year) is the notion of leaving the past behind. I’m noticing many thought patterns, beliefs, and even friendships are falling by the wayside as they become outdated. Part of this is because I’m still going through my Saturn return, meaning I’m shedding the things that do not work for me in anticipation of the person I’m becoming and will be for the next phase of my life. The other part is because I’m doing a lot of work on myself, so of course things cannot remain the same.
Leave your past behind like this person left his/her shoes.
However, that does not mean the process isn’t painful. A piece of me wants to keep things as they are, have nothing change, keep the status quo because it’s comfortable. That’s not the case so I’m in discomfort. As my friend B says, I’m experiencing growing pains (ain’t that the truth!).
I bring this up because I think it’s important to honor the process, to acknowledge change is hard and it’s painful and nobody said we’d enjoy it, but it’s oh so necessary.
I had an amazing astrology reading after Christmas that provided a lot of clarity. It was incredibly validating because the astrologer said, “Oh yes, the last three years have been awful for you, I can see that reflected in your chart, and here’s a little explanation as to why.” But he also reminded me my friendships fading into the background, my business endeavors falling flat, all of the disappointments I’ve experienced, have ultimately been for my own good. Certain people in my life are reflective of old patterns and now as I’m growing into a stronger person, into the person I’d like to be, there is strife and those friendships are no longer working.
As I go through this growing process, it’s important for me to remember not everything is falling apart, not every friendship is in jeopardy and not every person is going to fade into the shadows. And in fact, I’m going to make new friends, new people are coming into my life who are supportive of the person I’m becoming, and that’s something to cherish even though the pruning process is distressing.
I’m not perfect at leaving the past behind (hello! I think this blog shows that!), but now, especially given the context of what’s going on with me astrologically, I can more readily accept the changes and leave the past where it belongs. One of the more touching moments for me this past week was on New Year’s Day when my yoga and meditation organization asked me to read a passage. Here is a particularly potent excerpt:
While advancing from the distant past, humanity has reached the end of a dark period; a new year’s dawn is about to break in its history. Humanity will have to move forward still further, and in this path of their movement, there is no pause, no rest — no punctuation mark with comma, colon, or semicolon. They must move ever forward. Indeed, they are moving and they will continue to move, for movement is the very essence of life, the living proof of its vital existence. Those who stop in the middle of their movement have lost the very characteristic or dharma of life. — P.R. Sarkar (Shrii Shrii Anandamurti), A Few Problems Solved Part 5
I dream of a world where we keep moving forward because we understand we must. A world where we know change may be painful but oftentimes it’s for our own good. A world we let go of what no longer serves us even if it’s uncomfortable. A world where we understand sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to leave the past behind.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
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