My Will NOT Be Done

The other day my higher power told me not to attend a Zoom meeting. But I felt like I should attend because it would be good for my novel writing, I’d skipped the previous week, etc. Within minutes of signing on, Zoom froze and kicked me out of the meeting. I tried again and the same thing happened. At that point, I laughed and said, “OK, fine. I won’t join this meeting.” (For all you practically minded people, I updated Zoom because as much as I wasn’t supposed to be at that meeting, I also recognize sometimes computers glitch.)

So often I think I know how things should go. I want to force my will and run the show. Everything would be fine if things would just go how I think they should. It’s the nature of being human – we all have wants and desires and we’re trained to go after them. But what we often forget is we are not doing all of this alone. I pulled an oracle card this morning and it said, “Look at everything in your life as an opportunity for communion, losing the need for self-centeredness, connecting to Source in a sacred, intimate way. You will not pray on your knees as a supplicant. You will engage the Great Goddess as a partner in co-creation, participating in the making of worlds.”

We are co-creating with the universe and at the same time, I’ve seen over and over again if my will doesn’t align with the Cosmic will, things won’t happen. I’ll sign on to Zoom and get kicked off repeatedly, for instance. In my spiritual tradition, we say, “[W]hatever happens in this Universe of ours is nothing but an expression of Cosmic desire or Cosmic will. Neither can there be any volcanic eruption nor can any blade of grass move without [God’s] order. . .Living beings cannot do anything without [God’s] support; that is, when a human desire and [God’s] desire coincide, then only does the human desire become fruitful, otherwise it is a sure failure.”

That doesn’t mean we’re all puppets on a string, that we should lie around and wait for things to happen. Life is about movement, footwork is required, but there is such a thing as Cosmic will. And the trick, if you can call it that, is to align our will with the Cosmic will. In essence, we’re surrendering, we’re no longer fighting. When Zoom kicked me off again, I could have joined the meeting via my phone. I could have doubled down on my will, but I didn’t because I accepted that maybe my higher power wanted me to do something else.

Through my nonviolent communication training, I’ve learned one of the things I value tremendously, one of the things I want more of in my life, is ease. You know what doesn’t produce ease? Trying to force my will. But aligning with Cosmic will does. This isn’t always the case, but oftentimes that alignment feels like slipping into a stream and letting it carry me in the current. So much of life requires effort – cleaning, cooking, shopping, working. Why not let myself experience ease when and where I can? For me, that means recognizing it’s better when my will is not done.

I dream of a world where we understand there is such a thing as Cosmic will. A world where we remember if the universe doesn’t want something to happen, it won’t. A world where we surrender to a power greater than ourselves because we recognize that brings more ease and flow into our lives. A world where we remember many times it’s better if our will is not done.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.