Thanking the Person in the Mirror

I celebrated my 17th anniversary of moving to California on Valentine’s Day. I’ve been more emotional than I anticipated. Not so much that I moved here, that I still live here, but that I worked so very hard to create a life that I enjoy and works for me. I left a tearful voice memo for a friend saying for the first time in my life, nothing is actively wrong, personally. Politically on the other hand. . .

I’m happy. Not in a euphoric way that’s dependent on someone or something else but in a real, scientifically backed way. It’s something I made an effort around and that’s what’s choking me up. That’s also what my anniversary represents because it was the first major decision that I made to be happier. I’m still so grateful the 23-year-old me, scared of just about everything, said, “OK, I’ll move,” without having a job, a place to live, or an extensive community. It wasn’t an easy experience moving nine times in seven months, nor watching my bank account approach zero dollars and then hit it, but boy am I grateful I moved.

I’m so appreciative of that young woman who didn’t give up. For continuing to try even when it would have been easy to throw in the towel. I’m grateful to her for her courage, her openness, and her willingness to go outside her comfort zone. So much happened 17 years ago and the echoes still reach me today.

Why am I writing this publicly? After all, it could have been a journal entry, a private love letter to myself, but I’m making it public because especially in tough times I wonder if you’ve expressed gratitude for your past self. Have you said, “Thank you,” to the person in the mirror?

The most enduring, constant relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself. You are the only person who is with you from birth to death. Have you said, “I’m so proud of you”? Or given yourself a high five in the mirror?

Mel Robbins (no relation to Tony Robbins), is a motivational speaker and coach. She talks about high-fiving yourself in her book The High Five Habit. During a podcast episode with Marie Forleo she said, “You’re either going to have a really positive reaction where you’re going to laugh and you’re going to smile and it’s going to be funny and corny and all this stuff, or you will burst into tears in a very positive way. This is a very, very common thing that’s happening for people. And the tears are a positive release because you are realizing emotionally how much you’ve longed for this from yourself.”

Sometimes it’s easier to praise other people, to express our gratitude and appreciation for them, but what about you? Aren’t you just as deserving of praise, gratitude, and celebration? I bet there’s something, some version of yourself, some moment, some age that you reflect on with appreciation. What do you want to say to that past self? As for me, I’m saying, “Thank you.”

I dream of a world where we appreciate ourselves for how far we’ve come. A world where we say, “Thank you for doing that,” to the person in the mirror. A world where we remember we can thank and praise ourselves because we also deserve it.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.