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Releasing Doubt

By Rebekah / February 20, 2010

“Lack of doubt makes magic real and makes manifesting your wildest dreams probable.”– unknown

Can I just tell you I have doubts about the future? I have doubts about the way things will go down? I have doubts about where my life is going and what I will accomplish? The thing is though I don’t like it. I don’t like having doubts because I know it’s a vicious cycle where doubting something will happen invariably keeps it from happening. (Most likely anyway, but at the same time I recognize anything is possible.)

I also know “doubt” really means lack of trust. It means I’m saying to God, “I don’t believe you. You’re lying.” I wish I could say I’m past doubting and disbelieving in the Universe but I’m not yet. I wish I could say everything is hunky-dory now but I can’t. At the same time I want to move past it. At the same time I want to trust in my creator and my creator’s plan for me.

I doubt because of fear. I doubt because things don’t look the way I think they should look. I doubt because I can’t see the future and ascertain how I’m going to get from point A to point B. Because from where I’m standing getting to point B looks nigh impossible.

This doubt thing though runs counter to all my other beliefs. My knowledge the world is magical. My knowledge anything is possible. My knowledge I have a higher power greater than myself watching out for me and steering me along.

The Universe has told me time and again, “Hey, this is going to happen,” and I keep refusing to believe it. And I laugh because I stumbled upon the quote I wrote above, “Lack of doubt makes magic real and makes manifesting your wildest dreams probable,” at the apex of my doubting state. If that isn’t like getting hit by a spiritual 2×4 I don’t know what is. I laugh because God is so obviously telling me to release my doubt, to trust in the cosmic plan, sending me sign after sign after sign. This too is where recognizing my life is my life comes in. Because I’ve been letting other people tell me how my life is going to work out. Or I’ve been looking at other people’s lives thinking mine will turn out the same way. And it won’t. It doesn’t.

My friend D would tell me to just let this all go. He’s right of course but obviously I have a “need” for doubt otherwise I wouldn’t be clutching onto it so tightly. And perhaps that’s really what this post is about. Knowing I have an issue I don’t like, that I want to get rid of, but that I’m also holding onto. This is me acknowledging a part of myself enjoys doubting because my ego likes to see me miserable. Likes to keep me confined and thinking I can’t have the things I want. This is me finally saying I don’t need to doubt because doubting gets me nowhere.

I, you, we, are divine children of God. Who am I to say great and glorious things cannot happen? Who am I to say the world is anything less than magical? Who am I to say to God, “You, who are responsible for all of creation, are wrong about this?”

Doubt keeps me boxed in this teeny tiny place and that’s not where I live, nor where I want to live. And so I release all doubt. The Lord has said to me, “Rebekah, this is what’s going to happen.” Who am I to say, “No, it’s not?”

I dream of a world where we release all doubt. Where we trust in the Universe and what the Universe has conveyed to us. A world where we see the magic in everything. A world where we know anything is possible. A world where we live in the present and let the future take care of itself. A world where we understand we walk arm in arm with the Supreme and that means trusting in what lies ahead.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Hope and Faith

By Rebekah / December 27, 2009

I’m kind of on a hiatus right now what with visiting my family and going to a retreat in Missouri. However, I wanted to post one last message of hope and faith to close off 2009 and begin 2010. For your viewing pleasure I present:

Enjoy and rest assured another world is not only possible, it’s probable. =)

Safety Nets

By Rebekah / December 11, 2009

I really like safety nets. I like knowing if my plans don’t work out there’s an option B. Slowly my safety nets have been taken away from me and it freaks me out. My parents are renting out my childhood home in North Carolina so if my world comes crashing down around me I can’t move back in them. Not there at least. My, “in case neither of us is married by the time we’re 40 we’ll get together,” person is seriously dating someone, which is awesome, but nonetheless he’s no longer an option for me.

What I realize though is I don’t need a safety net. A safety net is an illusion anyway because even safety nets have a tendency to disappear. The thing is though, why even have a safety net in the first place? Why not just go all out and shoot for my dreams knowing I’ll be taken care of? That the universe is backing me, guiding me, protecting me at every moment? Why not go after what I want even if it seems illogical and ridiculous and completely unattainable?

I’m not sure I’m making any sense but I have a little story I’d like to share.

In 2007 when I worked in Washington, D.C. my coworkers had a Mother’s Day jewelry sale. I went looking for a gift for my mom and passed by a mother-of-pearl shell bracelet with a T-bar and circle clasp. I didn’t think my mom would like it, plus I don’t like buying parts of animals, so I went back to my cubicle empty handed. But I kept thinking about the bracelet. I wanted it – not for my mom, but for me. So I rushed back upstairs and purchased it (and said a prayer for the mollusk who died to give it to me).

Shortly thereafter I went to a WNBA game with a friend of mine. As we started walking toward the exit I looked down at my wrist and realized my bracelet was gone. (The bracelet is a little bit too big for me and so the T-bar has a tendency to slip from the clasp.) I started searching around me in a panic, checking my pockets, my sleeve, the ground. I retraced my steps, went back to the bathroom to see if it had fallen on the tiles. I scanned the crowded hallway and couldn’t find it. My friend and I went back to our seats and there it was, on the cement, directly below where I was sitting.

Yesterday while I sat at my desk at work one of my coworkers came up to me, with my bracelet dangling from his fingers. “Is this yours?” I hadn’t even realized I lost it but nonetheless, my bracelet found its way back to me.

Last night on my walk to the chiropractor I realized I lost my bracelet again. I scanned the pavement looking for it. I kept my eyes trained on the ground for six blocks looking for it to no avail. I probably lost it somewhere on my mile walk from work to my apartment. Since I work from home on Thursdays I couldn’t even look for it today so I called one of my coworkers and asked her to keep an eye out for it. But what are the odds I would find it? It could have fallen off anywhere. Someone else could have picked it up; it could have been thrown away by someone sweeping the sidewalks. It could have fallen into a sewer grate. In all likelihood my bracelet was gone.

This morning as I went to the basement to do some laundry I looked at the windowsill in the stairwell. And there was my bracelet, waiting for me. Of all the places it could have been, of all the possibilities, my bracelet found its way back to me.

I bring this up because some things seem completely illogical, unreasonable, and far-fetched but if they’re meant to be they will happen. If you’re meant to have something, you will. If you’re meant to be a famous actress, the stars will align. This bracelet belongs to me for now, wants to be with me for now, and so it keeps finding me over and over again despite all odds.

A safety net? I don’t need it because in truth there is no option B. My life will work out the way it’s fated. My dreams may not stay the same year after year, but if they do, that tells me something. If after surrendering, if after opening myself up to whatever is in my best interest I still get pointed back toward something then it will come to pass. Whatever it is will defy all odds. Miracles happen everyday. Just look at my bracelet.

I’m not going to tell you I don’t have any doubts some days, because I do, but I can tell you I’m trying to release them. I’m using EFT and affirmations and whatever else to truly believe what the universe is trying to tell me via signs and “coincidences.” I’m releasing all doubts because all I can do is aim for option A.

I dream of a world where we can trust in ourselves and the universe. A world where we shoot for our dreams full force knowing if it’s meant to be it will happen. A world where we know everything happens for a reason in our best interest. A world where we know magic happens and the impossible is possible. A world where we know our “safety nets” are our dreams because that’s what we’re being guided to do.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Shower Love So The Flowers Can Bloom

By Rebekah / November 13, 2009

“Why didn’t she dedicate a song to me? Why didn’t he mention me in the thank you’s? Pay attention to me! Why aren’t you showing how much you care???”

For the past month these thoughts have flickered through my mind. I’ve wanted people to pay attention to me, to love me, to show they cared. And when I didn’t get the attention I wanted I felt dejected.

Last weekend I went to a reiki workshop a friend of mine led. He said whenever we have those thoughts, that neediness, the craving for attention from others, it’s a red-flag. It’s a message to us we’re not giving ourselves the love we so desperately need. If I’ve learned anything in the past few months it’s that everything comes from within. So when I want others to pay attention to me that really just means I want to pay attention to myself. The outside world is a reflection of my inner world, a projection if you will.

My friend reminded me I can give myself all the love I need. I have an endless supply ready and waiting at all times. He told me, “You are the love of your life.” That sentence really struck me because I am the love of my life! I don’t need to find someone else to give me love because it’s already within me! The more love I give to myself, the more it’s reflected in the outer world. The more I treat myself with love the more others do the same. When I’m feeling needy and clingy I can shower the deserted spots of my soul with love so the flowers can bloom.

I guess I just want to say it’s so easy to fall into the trap of seeking outside for the things I need. I’ve been conditioned that way – the entire capitalistic system of the U.S. is predicated on the idea. But I don’t have to buy into it. I can deeply and completely love and approve and accept myself exactly as I am right now. I can treat myself with love. I can give myself the love I need. I can shift around the love in my heart so it waters the dry parts of my soul. I can take care of me and love me and pay attention to myself. Everything I need I already have.

“In the infinity of life where I am all is perfect, whole and complete. I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know. Deep at the center of my being, there is an infinite well of love. I now allow this love to flow to the surface. It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied. The more love I use and give, the more I have to give. The supply is endless. The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy.

I love myself; therefore, I take loving care of my body. I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages, I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself; therefore, I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in. I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore, I work at a job I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with and for people I love and who love me, and earning a good income.

I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving way to all people for I know that which I give out returns to me multiplied. I only attract loving people in my world, for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself; therefore, I live totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the Universe, and the Universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more. All is well in my world.” – an affirmation from You Can Heal Your Life.

I dream of a world where the above affirmation is true for everyone. Where we experience all of those things. A world where we all deeply and completely love and approve and accept ourselves unconditionally.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Moving Beyond Limitation and Lack

By Rebekah / October 23, 2009

I’ve been dancing around this issue for a while now. Related to my understanding I deserve to rejoice in life, I deserve all the pleasures life has to offer, there has been this layer of inferiority. What I mean is I ask myself, “Who am I to accomplish anything great? I’m just a girl from Kansas.” A part of me believes all I could ever hope for is to get married, raise two kids, live in the suburbs and have a dog named Sparky. Because I’m just a girl from Kansas.

I’ve been living in a gilded cage, accepting the subtle messages and indoctrination about what I can hope to accomplish in my life. “You’re not born into wealth or fame? The best you can hope for is a job that pays the bills, where you’ll work until your health starts to deteriorate, a faithful spouse, and good kids.” As my friend Mark from Australia says, “We’re like automatons. We go to school, graduate, get married, have kids, retire, have grandkids, and then die.” He’s right. The sad thing is that’s all a part of me ever expected, ever hoped to achieve.

Yet when I graduated from college I felt such despair because I wasn’t satisfied with that life. I wanted my life to be about more than just going to work and being social. And the good Lord answered.

My Creator sent me people to rattle my cage, to open my door. Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a little bit psychic. He started telling me all these things I will do and accomplish in my life. My first reaction was, “What? Are you serious? I’m just a girl from Kansas! Who am I to accomplish all that??” He told me about my future not so I can strut around with a puffed up ego but rather because I am at a crossroads. I can continue to believe in limitation and lack, that I am this small, insignificant person or not. I can continue to believe I am incapable of accomplishing great things or not. I am at the point where I can embrace my destiny or I can turn away from it. I choose to embrace it.

When I asked my friend how to let go of my fear and my limiting beliefs he said in his (typically) chill manner, “You just do.” I wanted to smack him because how can it be that easy? Of course he’s right but for those of us who are, shall we say, more stubborn, I think this is where EFT comes in. And affirmations. And meditation. And all the things that help us move beyond our limitations. Because while I may not be able to do back flips and round offs right now, I certainly won’t be able to do them if I think I never can.

So I am flying out of my gilded cage and soaring to new heights. Knowing I am fully capable of accomplishing amazing things. Knowing if I continue to follow the signs and my heart’s desires my life will be even more fulfilling, more exciting, and bigger than I could have ever planned.

A friend of mine posted a youtube video that fits in really nicely with this. It lists all these people like Thomas Edison who was told he was too stupid to learn anything and how he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality. Or Abraham Lincoln, whose fiancée died, failed at business twice, had a nervous breakdown and was defeated in eight elections. Or even one of my personal heroes, Elizabeth Gilbert, who when she wrote, “Eat, Pray, Love,” had no idea it would turn into this runaway bestseller and become adapted into a movie starring Julia Roberts. It just goes to show we don’t know what’s ahead and we are capable of so much more than we and others give us credit for.

So when someone comes along to rattle your cage, and they will, I hope you too will choose to fly out. To push through the fear, the insecurity, and the limiting beliefs. Yes the cage is comfortable and familiar but it’s too small for a bird of our stature. We deserve to spread our wings fully and fly freely. We deserve and are capable of so much more than we dreamed.

I envision a world where we cast aside the dogma and indoctrination our lives should progress in a certain way. I dream of a world where we move beyond limitation and lack to a place where we know everything is possible and our capacity to achieve is infinite. Where we know the world is big and broad and expansive. Where we know as we think so we become. Thus we think of ourselves as magnificent and glorious and capable of anything.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Success

By Rebekah / September 27, 2009

For much of my life I felt like I needed to be number one in order to be successful. I needed to be number one in my class, the best writer, the best stage manager, the best whatever. Because if I wasn’t number one then I wasn’t successful! (And then there’s the whole not-feeling-worthy-unless-you’re-successful thing I’ve written about before.) And if someone else is successful that means I am not because there can only be “one” ______. Who says? Who says if I am successful no one else can be? Or vice versa?

I bring this up because this week I read an article in the New York Times about all these successful New Age 20-something women who are writing best-selling books and garnering a following. Something akin to panic welled up in me as I thought to myself, “If they are successful that means I won’t be! By the time I get published no one will be interested in my story because they’ll have read it all before!”

That viewpoint though is one of scarcity. It’s the belief there can only be one best-selling author, one great yoga teacher/painter/chiropractor/doctor/whatever. Why does someone else’s success take away from mine? It doesn’t. This great vast Universe we live in is one of abundance. There is more than enough for everyone. There is enough abundance in the Universe for everyone to share in it. There can be many best-selling authors, many award-winning actresses, many top-notch physicians. We can all be successful.

This week I also read a blogpost on HealYourLife.com from Peggy McColl who wrote about being number one:

If we can be genuine about generating the emotions of joy, enthusiasm, and abundance within ourselves, the universe will work with us to bring about situations that match these feelings. Letting go of the destructive belief: I can’t reach my goal if someone else reaches his opens us up to the more positive thought: There’s enough abundance in the world for everyone to share in it!

I want to feel that. I want to revel in someone else’s success because I know their success does not preclude mine. I want to feel joy for others because I know there’s plenty to go around. I want to feel the abundance raining down on me because there is enough for everyone. Everyone can be successful in their own right. In whatever that means for them. Every person has the capacity for greatness, for success. Why can’t we all be successful? I think we can.

I dream of a world where we feel true joy for someone else’s success because we recognize each life is different and my success has nothing to do with yours. Where we recognize the world we live in is filled with abundance and so there’s more than enough for everyone. Where we can each share in what the other has to offer because there is room at the table for all of us. Where we realize we are made to be different and thus my success will not look like someone else’s. Where we know we can have what we want and our creator is showering us with prosperity at all times.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Put The Cup Down

By Rebekah / September 4, 2009

This week a friend of mine sent me a power point presentation about a professor holding a cup. The story goes like this:

A professor walked into class one day and held up a cup of water for all to see. The professor asked, “How much do you think this cup weighs?”

The students answered, “50g! 100g! 125g!”

“I really don’t know unless I weigh it,” the professor said. “But my question is what would happen if I held the cup like this for a few minutes?”

“Nothing.”

“What would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?” the professor asked.

“Your arm would begin to ache.”

“You’re right. Now what would happen if I held it for a day?”

“You arm would go numb, you would have muscle stress and paralysis and have to go the hospital for sure!” one of the students shouted amid laughter.

“Very good. But during all this did the weight of the cup change?”

“No.”

“Then what caused the arm to ache and the muscle stress?” the professor asked.

The students were perplexed.

“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked the professor.

“Put the cup down!” said the students.

“Exactly,” the professor replied.

I think this is an excellent metaphor for the cares and worries that life throws our way. Sometimes things come at me and I freak out. I hold onto them, obsess, angst. I get myself all worked up and upset but what I love is I got myself worked up. I did it to me. Which means the power to undo the angst is also in my hands. It means I am autonomous and powerful and I can calm myself down. It means I have the power to change my mind. It means if I want to release something, I can.

I guess I also want to say I recognize I put myself in a better mood by affirming where I’d like to be. Affirming safety over fear. Affirming abundance over scarcity. Affirming love over hate. But I also know sometimes I just. can’t. put. the. cup. down. And that’s ok too. What I’m doing now is using EFT to release this stuff. Saying, “I am willing to release my need for: fear, or this condition, or this person.” By tapping away I increase my willingness, which allows me to truly let go.

Once I let go I feel true ease and bliss and grace. What I’m learning is everything comes from within. The way we feel, what we think, it all emanates from our core, which then translates into how our lives work. We have the power to create our lives and in turn the world. We have the power to change things. We have the power to create a world we wish to see but it all starts from within. Within you and me and everyone else on this planet. We are divine and magnificent beings realizing our brightness.

I want to live in a world where we feel bright and magnificent at all times. Where we all shine like diamonds. Where we recognize our worth, our potential, our greatness. Where we know love, give love, receive love. Where we feel ease and grace and bliss. Where we let go and let flow. Where we see our lives as one part of the spectrum, ever-flowing, ever-changing but always constant. Where we recognize all we need we already have. Where we see our God-hood. Where we recognize our oneness with all living things. Where we can put the cup down.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Be Here, Now

By Rebekah / August 7, 2009

“I just want to know the future. If I knew the future and what will happen then I can relax and enjoy the here and now.” I’ve been hearing this from other people all week, mainly former coworkers looking for a steady job, feeling anxious because they are currently unemployed. I feel this way too sometimes. A part of me wants to know whether I’ll be laid off come October when the next quarter ends. Or what my life will look like two months from now. And can I just say it sucks?

It sucks to be in a place where I’m worrying about the future, where I’m agonizing over what’s next instead of living my life. The over-used phrase, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans,” comes to mind.

I know for me when I start worrying about the future it’s because I’m not trusting in the process of life. I’m not trusting in my Creator and my Creator’s plan for me. It taps into my need for feeling safe and secure because somehow I think by knowing the future I’ll realize I’m taken care of. Somewhere along the way I picked up the idea I need to know what’s ahead in order to feel safe.

I think about something my friend Heather said to me about the future, safety and security: “Are you any more secure and stable now that you’re employed full time and have your own apartment? Or is it all an illusion?”

She’s right. Tomorrow I could walk into work and find out I’ve been laid off. In the next 15 seconds my apartment could flood or catch on fire or get hit with an asteroid. So no, I’m not any more secure and stable now than when I kept moving from place to place, it only feels that way. It only feels that way because I’ve quieted my mental chatter and I’ve allowed myself to believe I’ll still be employed tomorrow and I’ll still have a place to live tonight.

The place where I’d like to be is recognizing I am safe, secure and protected at all times. Since I recognize safety, security and stability is a state of mind, I’d like to change my mental patterns to reflect that. I’d like my safety, security and stability to come from within as opposed to external situations. I’d like to feel like no matter what happens I will be taken care of.

Once again I plumb the depths of my mind, I go internally and recognize the point of power is in the here and now, is within me at all times. I start affirming for myself I am safe, secure and protected no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes though it’s not so easy to say those affirmations and to believe them. I know that too. I know sometimes we cling tightly to an idea, to a need to know the future, for a certain situation to work out, for a certain person to be in our lives, for a certain job to drop in our laps. I know sometimes it’s hard to let go.

For me, before I can get to the places I want to be, before I can start believing the affirmations I say to myself, there’s a precursor affirmation: “I am willing to release my need for X.”

I usually fill in X with something I want to get rid of, like, “I’m willing to release my need for fear,” or “I’m willing to release my need for this condition.” Something that is not serving me and only holds me back.

Why did I title this post “Be Here, Now?” Mostly because the point of power resides in this moment. Because the present is all we have. Because the future is really just a concept, always changing, ever-new. I spent far too much of my life worrying about what’s next, missing out on what lay before me, lamenting would could be as opposed to enjoying what is. I want my life to be light and easy and joyful and that comes by trusting in God, changing my mental patterns, and feeling gratitude.

I dream of a world where we release our need to know the future. I dream of a world where we live in the moment, enjoying what is. Where we all feel safe and secure and protected at all times. Where the future is something we accept, but we also laugh because we realize there is only now. I dream of a world where we recognize the power of our minds to change our lives and our world. Where we live life in real time.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.