This week I was in Boston for my sister’s graduation. The commencement speaker was Richard LaGravenese, an Oscar-nominated writer and director. He was funny and self-deprecating and inspirational. I highly encourage you to watch the whole speech and don’t be intimidated by the time count, it flies by, I promise.
What I really love about his speech is he spoke several truths. “You won't change the world but you will change your world.” Yes. How right is that? Each of us live in our bubbles that sometimes intersect with others, but for the most part we are in our own self-contained universe, which is why the law of attraction and manifestation is so powerful. What we put out in the world comes back to us. So yes, we will change our own worlds, several times in fact.
And here is a man who barely eeked by as an actor who followed his internal guidance. The nudge that kept pushing him to be a writer instead. And success followed him. Fame, critical acclaim, money. He trusted his gut and went after it. I can think of no more inspirational feat than that. A person who has a dream and chases it, not letting any obstacle deter them for long. And what’s so inspirational to me is that he achieved his dream. It may not be what he started off with, but it shows me how true my favorite expression, “Your wildest dreams are ant-sized compared to what lay ahead,” is. He never imagined his life would end up the way it did and in fact he says it’s better. Yes. Here is someone who models that, who reminds me the same can be true for me. Who shows me I too can chase after what I want and I may be surprised by what I get. He reminds me anything is possible and amazing things happen in the world. That not everyone is born to be a dancer or a singer, but that doesn’t mean they have to settle for second best, because perhaps they’re being pushed in a different direction. And that intuitional feeling, that gut, as he calls it, is never wrong. This too is where honesty comes in.
I think it’s important to chase our dreams yes, but also to be honest with ourselves and to look at our motivations. I think about all those contestants on American Idol who are convinced they are the best singers ever and I have to wonder, what is their motivation? Do they want to be on Idol to become famous, or because they love singing and moving people with music? If it’s the former then yeah, perhaps being a singer is not their path in life. Success follows talent it seems and not everyone can be talented in the way they want, no matter how hard they try. A teeny part of me would love to be a model because I enjoy being photographed but the brutal honesty is that I don’t have the body for it and even if I starved myself I’d never be tall enough. Them’s the breaks sometimes, but that doesn’t mean my life will be unfulfilling.
I dream of a world where more people are like Richard LaGravenese. Where people are their authentic, original selves. A world where people seek to express themselves rather than court the marketplace. A world where people have drive and ambition and create for the sake of creating. A world where people take risks even if they’re afraid to fail. A world where people focus on their own paths. A world where people follow their hearts and watch the magic of their lives unfold.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
The alternative title to this post could be, “Resistance to change.” I’m at a place right now where I’m happy where I am. Really, really happy. I wake up in the morning feeling rested and well. I accomplish what I want to accomplish and I’m still getting paid. (Thank you severance package!) I’m pleased with the progress I’ve made on my personal growth and I don’t particularly want to go any further, thanks. You know why? Because I don’t want it to be hard. I don’t want to break down anymore of my psychological barriers or plow ahead. I want to languish where I am because where I am is so good! (Who says it won’t get even better?)
I’m basing my resistance to change on past experience I’ve had of breaking down my barriers. It’s been challenging and full of hard work and determination. And I just don’t to go through that again. I don’t want to look at all my issues or face any more psychological patterns. I’ve had enough! I’ve gone far enough! Unfortunately for my ego, I haven’t gone far enough. I cannot stand still. Life is about movement. You either progress or you regress, that’s just the nature of the world.
I’m resistant to change probably because I’m afraid of what it might be like. Of all the hardship I might go through. Of the struggle that’s possible. It’s like looking at a mountain and thinking, “Do I really have to climb up that thing to see the view at the top? Isn’t there an easier, softer way?” No. There’s not. I would LOVE to find the easier, softer way. I would LOVE to engage in a quick fix to get what I want. None of this hard work business. None of this climbing up the mountain. Sadly, it’s not possible. As I’ve heard time and again, the easiest way out is through.
I’m reminded of something a friend said to me about growth and change, “Who said it has to be hard?” (I don’t know, the world?) Is that really true though? Do I have to brace myself for hardship? Instead of a storm maybe I’ll experience a drizzle.
I read a post recently on Love-olution about how sometimes people use the phrase, “I’m only human,” as a get-out-of-jail-free card, as a way of not being accountable or making forward progress. The blogger asked what would happen if we didn’t accept we are “merely human?” If we lived up to our potential as divine beings? I think she poses a great question because according to my beliefs that’s exactly what we’re here for. We’re here to move beyond limitation and lack and to embrace our divine nature. We’re here to merge with Parama Parusa, Source energy or whatever label you want to give it. We’re on this Earth precisely to learn we are not “merely human,” and thus I cannot stay where I am, metaphorically speaking. I have to keep going.
I will say though I’d rather feel excited about the change in me. I’d rather look forward to the growth ahead instead of feeling trepidation about how difficult I perceive it will be. Because who said it will be hard? Maybe it will just be. Maybe I can breakdown my walls and just accept the experience rather than qualifying the process as difficult, challenging or tough. Maybe like all things, it is what it is.
I cannot change the fact I will either evolve or devolve but I can change my perception. Instead of bracing myself for hardship I want to welcome change with open arms. I want to say, “Yippee! Life just gets better and better! With every passing day I move closer to an infinite loving consciousness!” Instead of responding, “Oy vey, there’s still so much further for me to go,” I’d like to say, “Sweet! There’s so much left for me to experience!” because there is. There really is.
I dream of a world where we understand the point of power is in our mind. A world where we understand we can change how we perceive growth. A world where we dismantle our fears and our outdated thinking little by little. A world where we experience joy along the path of progress. A world where we embrace change, recognizing change is not scary, we just think it is. I dream of a world where we look forward to what’s ahead knowing all is well in our world.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
All I can say today is I’m excited. I’m excited by the prospects a new year brings. I’m excited by the possibilities, by the goodness that’s up ahead. I’m excited about the world and what I see before me. I’m excited about 2011.
Right now my mind is whirling. It’s filled with visions of past people and situations. Of old friends, favorite teachers and former crushes. I’m mulling over my past self — who I was was and what I did. Last night was my eight year high school reunion (yes, eight year. It’s a small school and they combined classes from 1997-2002). Talk about a time warp. It’s a trip to see yourself in the eyes of another while you try to convince them in the span of five minutes you aren’t the same. That you are no longer that girl who lacks perspective, who gets so trapped in the details of life she doesn’t see the big picture. But of course to them you’ll always be the person who wore a yellow tanktop over a plaid shirt for tacky day.
I remarked to a friend of mine it’s weird to go from seeing certain people every day for years to all of a sudden not at all and then suddenly to see them again. I’m still tripping out this morning because my mind likes to reconcile the past with the present. To put together past selves with current realities. It’s like a puzzle — in high school you were this person and today you’re this person. Maybe it’s the journalist in me but I want to know the story. How did it all happen? How did you end up doing what you’re doing? I think I’m also still tripping out about my reunion because I’m not satisfied. I don’t know the stories. I don’t know the progressions from the past to the present. All I have are past selves and now current selves with no idea what happened in between. Perhaps though it doesn’t matter.
As I wrote about last week (and many times before), all there is is now. All there is is here. This moment in time as I sit on my bed typing on a borrowed laptop so old the wireless card is external. My mind likes to latch onto the past and mull it over but really the past matters only so much as I let it. It matters only as much as I allow it to shape the now. Of course there are consequences for every action and those consequences are still playing out, but me? My person? I get to decide moment by moment who I am and how my life will work. As Louise Hay says, “The point of of power is always in the now.” It doesn’t really matter who I was and what I did because I’m dealing with the now. The person I am today. The person who writes a weekly blog in the hopes her own struggles and insights will help others on their path of self-realization.
I may never know how my peers got to where they are and that’s ok. Because they’re here now. They’re nurses and actors and stay-at-home moms. They’re photographers and lawyers and teachers. All the trappings of what they’re doing pale in comparison to who they are. To their essence. I already know their essence, just as I know my own essence. We are all love incarnate. Divine beings in human form. Therefore I know them already. Even with eight year gaps and stories in between we still know one another. Because their essence remains unchanged. When I dip into all that is I recognize that. I no longer feel the pain of separation or the rupture of an abrupt goodbye. Because I am you and you are me. When I feel sadness it’s because I’ve forgotten that. Forgotten who I really am and where I come from, and I don’t mean Wichita, Kan. There are no goodbyes because how do you say goodbye to yourself? Even when you lose yourself you’ll eventually find you again. It’s inevitable.
We are always connected to each other and that will not change. No matter what happens in the physical realm, in the spiritual realm we are all one. So the fact I didn’t get to say goodbye to some folks, or that others didn’t attend the reunion, doesn’t ultimately matter. Time goes on and things in the physical world unfold but really we are eternal creatures. Outer appearances change but we remain the same.
I dream of a world where we recognize we are all connected at all times. A world where we understand “goodbye” is just a word because separation is an illusion. A world where we recognize our essence is what matters above all else. Above what we’re doing and how we got there. I dream of a world where we see ourselves for who we are really are: spiritual beings having a human experience.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This post is an extension of last week’s topic on shame. Last week I realized shame is not seeing myself the way Source sees me. Not viewing myself through the eyes of unconditional love. I also realized guilt is judging myself for doing or not doing something I think I “should.” I started thinking about why guilt and shame come up for me in the first place because if they didn’t serve a purpose, they wouldn’t keep appearing. Then it hit me: I’ve been thinking guilt and shame are my motivators. If I feel badly enough about something then I’ll stop (or start) whatever it is. If I feel badly enough about eating 10 cookies then I’ll stop. If I feel badly enough about my mom making dinner every night I’ll start cooking instead.
This weekend I got to talking about astrology with a friend of mine. He’s really into it so I asked him to pull up my birth chart. (For those of you who don’t know astrology is more than your horoscope. It’s complex and involves your birthday, birth time and location.) Anyway, he pulled it up and told me some things that really irked me, that really got under my skin.
I have to admit here I love astrology. I used to say things like, “Oooh, you’ll get along famously because you’re a Taurus and she’s a Cancer. That’s a really good combination.” I used to be all about the Sun squaring Mercury and Venus conjucting his moon or whatever. After my conversation with my friend though, I realized there has been a contradiction in my beliefs. How can I truly think anything is possible (and probable) if I’m operating under the notion the stars exert influence on me? That my life is destined to go a certain way because of my birth date? (I realize some of you may think astrology is bull hockey but just substitute astrology for “personality trait” or “upbringing” or “background” or whatever fits for you.)
What I’m saying is I think we were all born into this world with something. I’m not in John Locke’s tabula rasa camp. I think we all came into this world with innate tendencies, certain characteristics, karma, if you will, to rise above. But that’s the point: we can rise above anything. It may say in my astrological chart that I burn through money but that’s not the way my life always has to be. It’s something for me to take note of, to watch out for but that I can change. I can change anything. My mind is more powerful than I know and the thoughts I project into this universe come back to me. If I think I will always be poor, I will be. If I think I will be rich, I will be. There is of course action that is also required. If my chart says I’ll be wealthy that doesn’t mean it will happen if I sit on my tush all day and wait for money to fall from the sky. (Although since I’m allowing for all possibilities I have to say this may happen to some people.)
What I’m saying is I think there is an element of destiny in everyone’s life. There are certain things that must happen due to actions we set in motion, either in this life or a previous one. It’s a law of nature that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. It may be my destiny to get in a car accident but that accident may be a fender bender, crunching up the hood, or a crash replete with flips and crushed metal and broken glass. The severity of things can change. And how I react to situations is up to me. I can say, “Dear Lord, thank you for keeping me safe, for softening the blow of this accident, for taking care of me always,” or “Why are you doing this to me?!? I hate you!!! Everything sucks!!!” Life is what you make it.
There are certain things that must happen but there is still an element of free will. My thoughts still have an effect. My actions still mean something. Just because I came into the world with something doesn’t mean it has to stay with me. I guess I’m saying destiny can change, fate can be altered. The future isn’t set in stone. Astrologically I may be suited for a job as an engineer but if in my heart I want to be a ballerina I can be. I can be anything, I can do anything, I can have anything with God’s grace. There are no limitations. No matter what the stars say, no matter what personality traits we may have, no matter what our upbringing, we can do anything, we can change anything. I’m reminded of an affirmation I posted in April because I think it’s pertinent:
“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing. There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences. Life is never stuck or static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh. I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances. I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose. Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old. This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now. All is well in my world.” – Louise L. Hay
I can change, you can change, we can change. We are all powerful beyond measure. We were given certain circumstances, certain characteristics in this life to work through, to work on, but life is what we make it. I choose to live life the way I want. And I have that wish for others.
I dream of a world where we rise above our circumstances, where we veer off the roadmap given to us at birth and make our own way. I dream of a world where we decide what we want in life and then go after it, knowing anything is possible. I dream of a world filled with joy and love and grace. A world where we account for free will and the power of choice. A world where we understand things can change, do change, will change. A world where we recognize the power of our minds and the part we play in our life. A world where we know we can manifest anything and we can change ourselves and our relationships. A world where we know the power is within us at all times.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Lately I feel like I’ve been getting steamrolled by life. All this change has been taking place both internally and externally that I’m having trouble assimilating because it just keeps going. I like change in small doses but this has been massive. Each day I wake up, look in the mirror and say, “Who are you?” I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. I keep hoping things will stop or go back to the way they were but they haven’t and won’t. Because life continues, no?
What I’ve been doing is resisting this change like anything. I’ve been thrusting my arms in the air, turning my head in the other direction and screaming, “Nooooooooo! I don’t want it!” I’ve been futilely trying to stop the change from happening, believing that if I resisted it, it wouldn’t come (hahaha). I’ve been confronting the dogma that “change is scary.” I guess I bought into the idea change is a bad thing and it’s better for me to just stay where I am where things are familiar. It’s better for me to remain the person I’ve always been because that’s all I’ve known and I’m quite comfortable with the way things are, thank you very much.
Today though I experienced a shift.
In yoga philosophy we have this concept of dharma, which translates into the essential nature or characteristic of something. So the dharma of fire is to burn, the dharma of human beings is to evolve and to move toward God. So actually, what could be more natural, more normal, more dharmic than growth and change? Why am I resisting this so much?
I also realized the growth will keep happening whether I like it or not. I can continue to resist and feel like I’m getting flattened, or I can accept it. I can embrace it and go with the flow or I can keep beating my head against the wall. Isn’t there some movie quote that says, “We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way?” I want to do it the easy way please. The easy way means accepting the change, embracing it, letting it happen.
I dream of a world where we recognize change is normal, natural and precious. A world where we love change because we see it as an opportunity for a better life and a better world. I dream of a world where I and others like me can accept the things that happen to us. Where we can dance in the divine rhythm with our heads held high. Where we let change wash over us and cleanse our souls. A world where we not only accept change, we cherish it for the gift it is.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
The other day on my way to work I was stopped at a red light waiting for the little green man to indicate it was safe for me to cross the street.
A cab driver had the misfortune to be jutting out on the crosswalk and infringing in the space ahead of him, perpendicular to oncoming traffic. Cars driving past honked at the man; pedestrians shook their fists and called the cabbie a jerk (or worse). While stopped at the light, witnessing the spectacle, I could feel the anger/annoyance/frustration bubbling off those around me. I felt how their anger contributed to a bad vibration. To creating a sense of unrest and an emotion quite the opposite of peace.
The now famous Heather mentioned to me many moons ago about nonviolent communication, which basically operates off the premise language has a big affect on the state of the planet. If we communicate with each other peacefully, in a nonviolent manner, compassionately, we promote peace and harmony amongst ourselves. The harmonious environment creates a ripple effect, spreading from one person to another but also changes the Earth in an energetic way. The more peace we experience in our own lives, the more peace we can bestow upon the planet.
What excites me about nonviolent communication is it places the power to create peace in my hands, in your hands, in everyone’s hands. It feels like a tangible way to promote peace everyday. Instead of banging down the door of those in power, it’s a change I can make in my life with some very real results. Here is a youtube clip from the founder of NVC, Marshall Rosenberg talking about a mediation experience between two warring tribes:
I dream of a world where we live in peace. A world where everyone everywhere feels safe at all times, day and night. A world where violence is not tolerated on a global or a local scale. A world where we treat each other with compassion and respect. A world where we communicate effectively, really listening to one another and try to meet the other person’s needs. A world where we live harmoniously with one another in peace and prosperity. A world where we feel protected at each and every moment. A world where peace reigns supreme.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
There is a concept in yoga that I have struggled with for years. Santosa, or contentment, simultaneously makes perfect sense and yet completely baffles me at the same time.
On the one hand contentment seems completely called for. To me it translates into not being greedy, to feeling satisfied with the amount of money, power, and esteem we have in life. It makes sense because resources are limited. The opposite of contentment brings to mind Ebenezer Scrooge, from Dickens’ novel “A Christmas Carol.” The fellow who acquired more and more wealth and essentially sat on it while those around him suffered in poverty. Clearly greed is a bad thing. One only has to look at how the desire to acquire more leads to misery for yourself and for others (ahem Bernie Madoff. May you see the error of your ways and may others learn to forgive you).
At the same time, contentment in the broader sense, such as being satisfied with what’s before you, being satisfied with your lot in life, completely confounds me. I just don’t get it. I obviously beat the drum for change repeatedly. So where does contentment fit into that? How do I reconcile contentment with my constant impulse/desire to improve not only myself but the world around me? How can I feel content with homelessness and yet at the same time work to eradicate it?
I think maybe it has something to do with knowing our limits, knowing how much we, on an individual basis, can accomplish. Yes, I can give the homeless man on the corner a granola bar and no, I am not in a position to build him a house. And while I constantly want to do more, give more, be more, contentment lies in recognizing I can only do so much. Me, in this body, in the position I am currently in, at this moment, can do no more than smile at the homeless man and offer him food.
(As a group however, it’s a different story. United as one is a different matter, which I’ve already written about.)
I think the other piece to contentment is living in the moment and feeling satisfied with the present. This is the hardest part for me. Truly. When I stay present and in the moment I love it, but it’s not my natural inclination. Rather my thoughts are something like this:
“Ugh. Why is it so hot outside? Why can’t it be cooler? This weather is horrible. I wish it was spring. I can’t believe I have to wait so long for spring to come again.”
I find it hard to enjoy what is, to not future trip, and I often wish things were different than they are. I guess I’m saying I think contentment lies in reveling in what is. Enjoying the moment, enjoying the heat, enjoying waiting for the bus, enjoying the situation you are currently in because you’re in it and it’s your life and it’s all you have. Sooo much of my mental energy gets expended on thinking about the future. Worrying, lamenting rather than enjoying what’s before me.
I’ve gotten much better since moving to California, (when you don’t know where you’re living two weeks in advance you learn to live in the moment) but it’s a daily process.
So I don’t know, I guess I reconcile santosa and service just by letting them coexist. Just by trying to feel content and grateful for what I have, content with what I, as an individual can do, and also working to change things little by little.
I dream of a world where everyone feels content and grateful for their lives. Where we work to improve ourselves and the lives of those around us but in a balanced way. I dream of a world where gratitude reigns and where we all truly live our lives because we stick with the moment. Because we savor what is before us. Because we are truly present. I dream of a world where everyone everywhere feels content, feels satisfied, feels joy. I dream of a world where daily we work to fulfill our mission on this Earth and also feel satisfied with what we’ve accomplished. Where we love what we’ve done thus far and also love what we will do in the future. I dream of a world where everyone everywhere wakes up feeling lovely because, oh right, this is life I’m experiencing and life is grand.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
While I appreciate the sentiment of “The World has Changed” I think it’s important for us to remember change happens all the time. We make all things new. You and I are changing this world at every moment. Yes it’s great and grand Barack Obama is now President of the
The real power, the real change comes from us – from you and me when we unite together. When we join hands for a common cause. When we decide to work together that’s when the miracles happen. That’s where real change comes from.
I am not the President of the
So let us remember to temper all the talk of “a new era” with the understanding we change things all the time. Change happens at every moment. We usher in a “new era” with every breath we take. You and I as we unite are a force more powerful, more effective and more magnificent than any one person can ever be alone.
True power lies in our unity. True change comes from us. You and I are the agents of change, working for a new world. We. Us together.
I envision a world where the moralists clasp hands with one another and cooperate in the spirit of change. I envision a world where social activists link up with each other and realize they don’t need to start another nonprofit to elicit the change they wish to see. Where people recognize there are many willing participants who wish to work together as one. I envision a world where all the splinter groups bundle together as one. Where each and every person recognizes their own worth, their own power, regardless of their role in society. I envision a world where each and every person sees themselves for the powerful being they really are. Because you and I are more powerful, more magnificent and more brilliant than we can even imagine.
I’m sure many of you have read this quote numerous times before but it seems appropriate for this post:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love
So let us shine. Let us share our radiance with others. Let us take the candle flame glowing within each of us and join together to outshine the sun. We can do anything if we do it together.
Not only is another world possible, it’s probable.