Last week I wrote about the “next” economy or “gift” economy. This week I’m excited because it seems en masse people are realizing our current economic system is flawed. More than a thousand people have gathered for Occupy Wall St. and similar events are popping up in cities around the United States.
For those of you who don’t know, the movement is the expression of people dissatisfied with being a part of the 99% of the population who are not super wealthy. There is a whole tumblr about it actually. Here is one of the entries:
“I have my health. I have a job. I have no debt, and no dependents. I have a tiny bit of savings and a small retirement fund that I cling to.
But Wall Street is hungry, and our political leaders have shown whose side they are on. Business and government will work together to steal what we have.
I did not get here, to this tiny island of stability, alone. I owe so much to my brothers and sisters who worked hard for the ideals of DEMOCRACY and LIBERTY and FREEDOM.
And I will not stand by, silent, while any of my brothers and sisters falls through the cracks: the sick, the unemployed, and underemployed, the kids who depend on us all.
I will not stand by while the One Percent who have manipulated our social contract to their vast favor leave the rest of us to fend for ourselves.
I will not stand for it.
And I am not alone.
I am the 99%.”
You might be asking, why exactly this inspires me. It’s because about 10 years ago I had a conversation with a classmate, trying to explain why capitalism was a flawed system and she said to me, “If those people worked hard for their money I don’t see why we should limit how much they make. I don’t see why they can’t make as much money as they want because they earned it.” I’m inspired by this Occupy Wall St. protest because it shows me people are becoming more heart centered. They are starting to become more compassionate. They’re starting to see what happens to the homeless man down the street is not ok. I’m inspired because people are starting to care. As a 17-year-old it was hard for me to put into words capitalism doesn’t work because it rewards the greedy and it’s selfish. How on earth could I win the argument if the person I was talking to would respond by saying, “So?”
I love that we’re showing compassion for each other. That people are saying, “Hey, you know, greed is not ok and I won’t stand idly by watching someone gobble up the wealth while the rest of us are fighting for scraps.” I love that we’re wanting to support each other. That we’re wanting to ensure everyone in the world gets their needs met. How AMAZING is that?
I dream of a world where everyone gets their basic needs met. A world where we are all taken care of because we take care of each other. A world where we’re supported. A world where wealth is shared and we show respect and compassion for our fellows. A world where we live more in our hearts than in our heads.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I hear (and read) the expression, “People don’t change” frequently and it baffles me. Because people do change. All the time. Heck, I’m a different person now than I was even a month ago. And not just me. There are gay characters on practically every television show that’s broadcast these days. There are homophobic dads out there that are now accepting their gay sons. There are states that accept gay marriage and civil unions. There are entire countries ok with people marrying whomever they want. And not just that, hell, Wal-Mart sells all natural products made by Clorox. Clorox, the makers of bleach. Sure, it was probably motivated by profits, but still, the fact I can even say that in the same breath is tremendous.
On an individual level there are people out there who are off drugs, or lost 300 pounds, or finally learned what it means to be compassionate. There are people who finally took down their walls and allowed love into their lives. People change ALL THE TIME. I think mostly what it comes down to though is “I” can’t get “you” to change. I think we say, “People don’t change” because it’s much easier to swallow our powerlessness over others. Because no matter how much I want, plead, or cajole I can’t force someone to change their behavior. But that doesn’t mean their behavior won’t change, it just won’t be because of me. Or them really.
Here’s a truth I’ve learned: “I” can’t ever change myself. If I could I’d be thinner/richer/smarter/prettier/whatever. If I could change me I would do so many things! My controlling nature would throw a parade because, “Yes! I can finally do everything I always wanted the way I wanted!” Here’s the miracle of my life today. I’m incredibly impatient (which I think we’ve established) and I resigned myself to being that way forever because, “People don’t change.” But then you know what? I started praying about it. I started praying for more patience so I could better show up for myself and others and it happened. When I went to visit my parents for Christmas I didn’t yell and stamp my feet urging them to hurry up. Instead I kept my mouth shut and just waited. I wasn’t even bothered by their lateness. Who was that? Not me. The change had to come from something outside of me. And I don’t necessarily mean just God or Higher Power. I’m talking about the little stuff that gets me out of my own headspace like serving someone else, or volunteering, or traveling to a foreign country. There has to be that room for expansion and growth.
I guess I’m saying I know another world is possible because another me, you, we is possible. I know another world is possible because we change all the time. We are each different today than we were five years ago. I know another world is in the making because we are not static creatures who engage in the same behavior over and over again. Sure, we might for a time, but eventually something gives. We expand. We wake up. We’re ever-so-slightly different than we were before. There’s no truth to the statement, “People don’t change.” It’s more accurate to say, “I can’t make you change.”
I dream of a world where we celebrate the growth we all go through. A world where we recognize the beauty and the magic in life. A world where we see how those around us do indeed change and we marvel at the difference. A world where we allow ourselves and each other to show up in new and inspiring ways. A world where we recognize things are ever-changing, ourselves included.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This week I was in Boston for my sister’s graduation. The commencement speaker was Richard LaGravenese, an Oscar-nominated writer and director. He was funny and self-deprecating and inspirational. I highly encourage you to watch the whole speech and don’t be intimidated by the time count, it flies by, I promise.
What I really love about his speech is he spoke several truths. “You won't change the world but you will change your world.” Yes. How right is that? Each of us live in our bubbles that sometimes intersect with others, but for the most part we are in our own self-contained universe, which is why the law of attraction and manifestation is so powerful. What we put out in the world comes back to us. So yes, we will change our own worlds, several times in fact.
And here is a man who barely eeked by as an actor who followed his internal guidance. The nudge that kept pushing him to be a writer instead. And success followed him. Fame, critical acclaim, money. He trusted his gut and went after it. I can think of no more inspirational feat than that. A person who has a dream and chases it, not letting any obstacle deter them for long. And what’s so inspirational to me is that he achieved his dream. It may not be what he started off with, but it shows me how true my favorite expression, “Your wildest dreams are ant-sized compared to what lay ahead,” is. He never imagined his life would end up the way it did and in fact he says it’s better. Yes. Here is someone who models that, who reminds me the same can be true for me. Who shows me I too can chase after what I want and I may be surprised by what I get. He reminds me anything is possible and amazing things happen in the world. That not everyone is born to be a dancer or a singer, but that doesn’t mean they have to settle for second best, because perhaps they’re being pushed in a different direction. And that intuitional feeling, that gut, as he calls it, is never wrong. This too is where honesty comes in.
I think it’s important to chase our dreams yes, but also to be honest with ourselves and to look at our motivations. I think about all those contestants on American Idol who are convinced they are the best singers ever and I have to wonder, what is their motivation? Do they want to be on Idol to become famous, or because they love singing and moving people with music? If it’s the former then yeah, perhaps being a singer is not their path in life. Success follows talent it seems and not everyone can be talented in the way they want, no matter how hard they try. A teeny part of me would love to be a model because I enjoy being photographed but the brutal honesty is that I don’t have the body for it and even if I starved myself I’d never be tall enough. Them’s the breaks sometimes, but that doesn’t mean my life will be unfulfilling.
I dream of a world where more people are like Richard LaGravenese. Where people are their authentic, original selves. A world where people seek to express themselves rather than court the marketplace. A world where people have drive and ambition and create for the sake of creating. A world where people take risks even if they’re afraid to fail. A world where people focus on their own paths. A world where people follow their hearts and watch the magic of their lives unfold.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
The alternative title to this post could be, “Resistance to change.” I’m at a place right now where I’m happy where I am. Really, really happy. I wake up in the morning feeling rested and well. I accomplish what I want to accomplish and I’m still getting paid. (Thank you severance package!) I’m pleased with the progress I’ve made on my personal growth and I don’t particularly want to go any further, thanks. You know why? Because I don’t want it to be hard. I don’t want to break down anymore of my psychological barriers or plow ahead. I want to languish where I am because where I am is so good! (Who says it won’t get even better?)
I’m basing my resistance to change on past experience I’ve had of breaking down my barriers. It’s been challenging and full of hard work and determination. And I just don’t to go through that again. I don’t want to look at all my issues or face any more psychological patterns. I’ve had enough! I’ve gone far enough! Unfortunately for my ego, I haven’t gone far enough. I cannot stand still. Life is about movement. You either progress or you regress, that’s just the nature of the world.
I’m resistant to change probably because I’m afraid of what it might be like. Of all the hardship I might go through. Of the struggle that’s possible. It’s like looking at a mountain and thinking, “Do I really have to climb up that thing to see the view at the top? Isn’t there an easier, softer way?” No. There’s not. I would LOVE to find the easier, softer way. I would LOVE to engage in a quick fix to get what I want. None of this hard work business. None of this climbing up the mountain. Sadly, it’s not possible. As I’ve heard time and again, the easiest way out is through.
I’m reminded of something a friend said to me about growth and change, “Who said it has to be hard?” (I don’t know, the world?) Is that really true though? Do I have to brace myself for hardship? Instead of a storm maybe I’ll experience a drizzle.
I read a post recently on Love-olution about how sometimes people use the phrase, “I’m only human,” as a get-out-of-jail-free card, as a way of not being accountable or making forward progress. The blogger asked what would happen if we didn’t accept we are “merely human?” If we lived up to our potential as divine beings? I think she poses a great question because according to my beliefs that’s exactly what we’re here for. We’re here to move beyond limitation and lack and to embrace our divine nature. We’re here to merge with Parama Parusa, Source energy or whatever label you want to give it. We’re on this Earth precisely to learn we are not “merely human,” and thus I cannot stay where I am, metaphorically speaking. I have to keep going.
I will say though I’d rather feel excited about the change in me. I’d rather look forward to the growth ahead instead of feeling trepidation about how difficult I perceive it will be. Because who said it will be hard? Maybe it will just be. Maybe I can breakdown my walls and just accept the experience rather than qualifying the process as difficult, challenging or tough. Maybe like all things, it is what it is.
I cannot change the fact I will either evolve or devolve but I can change my perception. Instead of bracing myself for hardship I want to welcome change with open arms. I want to say, “Yippee! Life just gets better and better! With every passing day I move closer to an infinite loving consciousness!” Instead of responding, “Oy vey, there’s still so much further for me to go,” I’d like to say, “Sweet! There’s so much left for me to experience!” because there is. There really is.
I dream of a world where we understand the point of power is in our mind. A world where we understand we can change how we perceive growth. A world where we dismantle our fears and our outdated thinking little by little. A world where we experience joy along the path of progress. A world where we embrace change, recognizing change is not scary, we just think it is. I dream of a world where we look forward to what’s ahead knowing all is well in our world.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
All I can say today is I’m excited. I’m excited by the prospects a new year brings. I’m excited by the possibilities, by the goodness that’s up ahead. I’m excited about the world and what I see before me. I’m excited about 2011.
Right now my mind is whirling. It’s filled with visions of past people and situations. Of old friends, favorite teachers and former crushes. I’m mulling over my past self — who I was was and what I did. Last night was my eight year high school reunion (yes, eight year. It’s a small school and they combined classes from 1997-2002). Talk about a time warp. It’s a trip to see yourself in the eyes of another while you try to convince them in the span of five minutes you aren’t the same. That you are no longer that girl who lacks perspective, who gets so trapped in the details of life she doesn’t see the big picture. But of course to them you’ll always be the person who wore a yellow tanktop over a plaid shirt for tacky day.
I remarked to a friend of mine it’s weird to go from seeing certain people every day for years to all of a sudden not at all and then suddenly to see them again. I’m still tripping out this morning because my mind likes to reconcile the past with the present. To put together past selves with current realities. It’s like a puzzle — in high school you were this person and today you’re this person. Maybe it’s the journalist in me but I want to know the story. How did it all happen? How did you end up doing what you’re doing? I think I’m also still tripping out about my reunion because I’m not satisfied. I don’t know the stories. I don’t know the progressions from the past to the present. All I have are past selves and now current selves with no idea what happened in between. Perhaps though it doesn’t matter.
As I wrote about last week (and many times before), all there is is now. All there is is here. This moment in time as I sit on my bed typing on a borrowed laptop so old the wireless card is external. My mind likes to latch onto the past and mull it over but really the past matters only so much as I let it. It matters only as much as I allow it to shape the now. Of course there are consequences for every action and those consequences are still playing out, but me? My person? I get to decide moment by moment who I am and how my life will work. As Louise Hay says, “The point of of power is always in the now.” It doesn’t really matter who I was and what I did because I’m dealing with the now. The person I am today. The person who writes a weekly blog in the hopes her own struggles and insights will help others on their path of self-realization.
I may never know how my peers got to where they are and that’s ok. Because they’re here now. They’re nurses and actors and stay-at-home moms. They’re photographers and lawyers and teachers. All the trappings of what they’re doing pale in comparison to who they are. To their essence. I already know their essence, just as I know my own essence. We are all love incarnate. Divine beings in human form. Therefore I know them already. Even with eight year gaps and stories in between we still know one another. Because their essence remains unchanged. When I dip into all that is I recognize that. I no longer feel the pain of separation or the rupture of an abrupt goodbye. Because I am you and you are me. When I feel sadness it’s because I’ve forgotten that. Forgotten who I really am and where I come from, and I don’t mean Wichita, Kan. There are no goodbyes because how do you say goodbye to yourself? Even when you lose yourself you’ll eventually find you again. It’s inevitable.
We are always connected to each other and that will not change. No matter what happens in the physical realm, in the spiritual realm we are all one. So the fact I didn’t get to say goodbye to some folks, or that others didn’t attend the reunion, doesn’t ultimately matter. Time goes on and things in the physical world unfold but really we are eternal creatures. Outer appearances change but we remain the same.
I dream of a world where we recognize we are all connected at all times. A world where we understand “goodbye” is just a word because separation is an illusion. A world where we recognize our essence is what matters above all else. Above what we’re doing and how we got there. I dream of a world where we see ourselves for who we are really are: spiritual beings having a human experience.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This post is an extension of last week’s topic on shame. Last week I realized shame is not seeing myself the way Source sees me. Not viewing myself through the eyes of unconditional love. I also realized guilt is judging myself for doing or not doing something I think I “should.” I started thinking about why guilt and shame come up for me in the first place because if they didn’t serve a purpose, they wouldn’t keep appearing. Then it hit me: I’ve been thinking guilt and shame are my motivators. If I feel badly enough about something then I’ll stop (or start) whatever it is. If I feel badly enough about eating 10 cookies then I’ll stop. If I feel badly enough about my mom making dinner every night I’ll start cooking instead.
This weekend I got to talking about astrology with a friend of mine. He’s really into it so I asked him to pull up my birth chart. (For those of you who don’t know astrology is more than your horoscope. It’s complex and involves your birthday, birth time and location.) Anyway, he pulled it up and told me some things that really irked me, that really got under my skin.
I have to admit here I love astrology. I used to say things like, “Oooh, you’ll get along famously because you’re a Taurus and she’s a Cancer. That’s a really good combination.” I used to be all about the Sun squaring Mercury and Venus conjucting his moon or whatever. After my conversation with my friend though, I realized there has been a contradiction in my beliefs. How can I truly think anything is possible (and probable) if I’m operating under the notion the stars exert influence on me? That my life is destined to go a certain way because of my birth date? (I realize some of you may think astrology is bull hockey but just substitute astrology for “personality trait” or “upbringing” or “background” or whatever fits for you.)
What I’m saying is I think we were all born into this world with something. I’m not in John Locke’s tabula rasa camp. I think we all came into this world with innate tendencies, certain characteristics, karma, if you will, to rise above. But that’s the point: we can rise above anything. It may say in my astrological chart that I burn through money but that’s not the way my life always has to be. It’s something for me to take note of, to watch out for but that I can change. I can change anything. My mind is more powerful than I know and the thoughts I project into this universe come back to me. If I think I will always be poor, I will be. If I think I will be rich, I will be. There is of course action that is also required. If my chart says I’ll be wealthy that doesn’t mean it will happen if I sit on my tush all day and wait for money to fall from the sky. (Although since I’m allowing for all possibilities I have to say this may happen to some people.)
What I’m saying is I think there is an element of destiny in everyone’s life. There are certain things that must happen due to actions we set in motion, either in this life or a previous one. It’s a law of nature that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. It may be my destiny to get in a car accident but that accident may be a fender bender, crunching up the hood, or a crash replete with flips and crushed metal and broken glass. The severity of things can change. And how I react to situations is up to me. I can say, “Dear Lord, thank you for keeping me safe, for softening the blow of this accident, for taking care of me always,” or “Why are you doing this to me?!? I hate you!!! Everything sucks!!!” Life is what you make it.
There are certain things that must happen but there is still an element of free will. My thoughts still have an effect. My actions still mean something. Just because I came into the world with something doesn’t mean it has to stay with me. I guess I’m saying destiny can change, fate can be altered. The future isn’t set in stone. Astrologically I may be suited for a job as an engineer but if in my heart I want to be a ballerina I can be. I can be anything, I can do anything, I can have anything with God’s grace. There are no limitations. No matter what the stars say, no matter what personality traits we may have, no matter what our upbringing, we can do anything, we can change anything. I’m reminded of an affirmation I posted in April because I think it’s pertinent:
“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing. There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences. Life is never stuck or static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh. I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances. I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose. Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old. This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now. All is well in my world.” – Louise L. Hay
I can change, you can change, we can change. We are all powerful beyond measure. We were given certain circumstances, certain characteristics in this life to work through, to work on, but life is what we make it. I choose to live life the way I want. And I have that wish for others.
I dream of a world where we rise above our circumstances, where we veer off the roadmap given to us at birth and make our own way. I dream of a world where we decide what we want in life and then go after it, knowing anything is possible. I dream of a world filled with joy and love and grace. A world where we account for free will and the power of choice. A world where we understand things can change, do change, will change. A world where we recognize the power of our minds and the part we play in our life. A world where we know we can manifest anything and we can change ourselves and our relationships. A world where we know the power is within us at all times.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Lately I feel like I’ve been getting steamrolled by life. All this change has been taking place both internally and externally that I’m having trouble assimilating because it just keeps going. I like change in small doses but this has been massive. Each day I wake up, look in the mirror and say, “Who are you?” I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. I keep hoping things will stop or go back to the way they were but they haven’t and won’t. Because life continues, no?
What I’ve been doing is resisting this change like anything. I’ve been thrusting my arms in the air, turning my head in the other direction and screaming, “Nooooooooo! I don’t want it!” I’ve been futilely trying to stop the change from happening, believing that if I resisted it, it wouldn’t come (hahaha). I’ve been confronting the dogma that “change is scary.” I guess I bought into the idea change is a bad thing and it’s better for me to just stay where I am where things are familiar. It’s better for me to remain the person I’ve always been because that’s all I’ve known and I’m quite comfortable with the way things are, thank you very much.
Today though I experienced a shift.
In yoga philosophy we have this concept of dharma, which translates into the essential nature or characteristic of something. So the dharma of fire is to burn, the dharma of human beings is to evolve and to move toward God. So actually, what could be more natural, more normal, more dharmic than growth and change? Why am I resisting this so much?
I also realized the growth will keep happening whether I like it or not. I can continue to resist and feel like I’m getting flattened, or I can accept it. I can embrace it and go with the flow or I can keep beating my head against the wall. Isn’t there some movie quote that says, “We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way?” I want to do it the easy way please. The easy way means accepting the change, embracing it, letting it happen.
I dream of a world where we recognize change is normal, natural and precious. A world where we love change because we see it as an opportunity for a better life and a better world. I dream of a world where I and others like me can accept the things that happen to us. Where we can dance in the divine rhythm with our heads held high. Where we let change wash over us and cleanse our souls. A world where we not only accept change, we cherish it for the gift it is.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
The other day on my way to work I was stopped at a red light waiting for the little green man to indicate it was safe for me to cross the street.
A cab driver had the misfortune to be jutting out on the crosswalk and infringing in the space ahead of him, perpendicular to oncoming traffic. Cars driving past honked at the man; pedestrians shook their fists and called the cabbie a jerk (or worse). While stopped at the light, witnessing the spectacle, I could feel the anger/annoyance/frustration bubbling off those around me. I felt how their anger contributed to a bad vibration. To creating a sense of unrest and an emotion quite the opposite of peace.
The now famous Heather mentioned to me many moons ago about nonviolent communication, which basically operates off the premise language has a big affect on the state of the planet. If we communicate with each other peacefully, in a nonviolent manner, compassionately, we promote peace and harmony amongst ourselves. The harmonious environment creates a ripple effect, spreading from one person to another but also changes the Earth in an energetic way. The more peace we experience in our own lives, the more peace we can bestow upon the planet.
What excites me about nonviolent communication is it places the power to create peace in my hands, in your hands, in everyone’s hands. It feels like a tangible way to promote peace everyday. Instead of banging down the door of those in power, it’s a change I can make in my life with some very real results. Here is a youtube clip from the founder of NVC, Marshall Rosenberg talking about a mediation experience between two warring tribes:
I dream of a world where we live in peace. A world where everyone everywhere feels safe at all times, day and night. A world where violence is not tolerated on a global or a local scale. A world where we treat each other with compassion and respect. A world where we communicate effectively, really listening to one another and try to meet the other person’s needs. A world where we live harmoniously with one another in peace and prosperity. A world where we feel protected at each and every moment. A world where peace reigns supreme.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.