I have some news. I’m moving! Not just talking about it, but actually moving at the end of this month. (Yay!) Moving is one of the most stressful things a person can experience, right under death of a loved one and a divorce, apparently. Needless to say, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed because on top of my already super-busy life, I have to add packing to the mix. One of the most beautiful, miraculous things coming out of this is people are offering to help me.
People are coming out of the woodwork to offer help moving or driving or picking up boxes. It’s been amazing because I often don’t know who to ask or even what to ask much of the time. To have someone say to me, “Oh, you can forward Craigslist ads of scooters to me to help you figure out what to buy,” is such a relief. To have someone say, “I’ll help you bring a load of stuff to your new place,” makes me want to weep with gratitude.
When I saw this picture I couldn’t resist using it. How cute is this?!?
I’m a very independent person. I like to do things by myself and I pride myself on being able to accomplish things on my own. When people want to help me it’s almost shocking because it’s a reminder I’m not alone, I’m not an island, I exist in a community, and furthermore, people want to help me.
That’s hard for me to remember because my first reaction is often, “I need to take care of this myself,” or “I need to figure this out.” I forget I’m not supposed to have all the answers and be a completely autonomous being. Other people have skills and assets I do not and that’s why I ask for help! There’s something particularly sweet though about not even asking and instead people offering. It feels like an extra special gift that someone wants to show up in my life in that way. It’s touching.
This is a rambly post but that’s because I’m super tired. Mostly, I want to express my gratitude for the people in my life who are offering to help me, for showing up in that way, because it means a lot. This is also my way of saying, offer help when you can because it will probably mean a lot to the person to whom you are offering. It shows a level of care and service that reminds me of the goodness in humanity.
I dream of a world where we offer help when we can. A world where we see all the ways that help is provided to us. A world where we remember we don’t have to do everything by ourselves, but that there are people waiting to help us. A world where we show we care for each other by being helpful.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
If you're here after reading my post on Tiny Buddha, welcome! There's not much you need to know about me other than I'm an idealist but feel free to poke around.
This weekend I've been in New Hampshire to attend a wedding for some friends of mine. A few months ago I wrote a post about feeling at peace where I am, and this weekend has been the proof in the pudding. Normally when I attend a wedding I lament that I'm all by myself, that I don't have a boyfriend yet, blah, blah, blah. This weekend was the complete antithesis because even though I was on my own I didn't feel apart from, I felt a part of a group. I felt cloaked in kinship and oneness with those around me. So often we talk about "one" being the loneliest number but we also lionize being at one with nature, being at one with ourselves. It's become synonymous with peace and tranqulity. So maybe "one" is not such a bad number.
I booked a hotel fairly far away from downtown not by choice but more through happenstance. I didn't rent a car but rather counted on the fact other people would shuttle me around, and they did. I felt so taken care of by those around me nothing seemed missing at all. At the wedding I sat at a table full of my friends so it didn't even occur to me I would need a date. Because I didn't. I was full of friendship and love.
Being dateless at a wedding has become tantamount to wearing white after Labor Day — it's something we're not "supposed" to do and yet so many of us do it anyway. I've noticed in U.S. culture we like to partner up and then move somewhere to start a family. Maybe this is a model based on the Wild West when in order to populate the nation people had to couple up and move far away. But that's not the case anymore. Now it's more beneficial to have a support system, which allows for people to live on their own because they don't have to rely on only one other person. What I've noticed is as I've sought to meet my needs in my community my desire for partnership has lessened. One doesn't feel like the lonelinest number because there are so many other people I can turn to. There are so many other options for help. There is so much love for me spread out all over the place that it doesn't need to be concentrated within one other person — it's been diluted in many.
I am very tired and very sick so I don't know how well my point is coming across, but in essence I'm finally understanding — and living — the idea being alone is not the horrible state I was making it out to be. It hasn't made me a pariah. It hasn't made me less of a person. I think it's mostly because I feel very loved and very included wherever I go, even if I'm all by myself. And I feel this way after a wedding, a time that I used to feel my single status most acutely. It's my wish that other people will come to the same realization I did.
I dream of a world where everyone feels loved, held, and whole. A world where everyone gets their needs met whether they're in a relationship or not. A world where we all feel a sense of community and kinship. A world where we understand one is not the lonelinest number after all.
Another world is not only possible, it's probable.
I still have the flu so I won’t be writing anything major but I still wanted to share something that inspires me. I LOVE this video of people flashmobbing a 9-year-old’s arcade:
(And here’s an article about it.) What I love about this is how a little boy so earnestly built an arcade and waited everyday for customers. They never came until one day they did. And not just one but an entire crowd. I love how quickly it all came together. Everything lined up and exploded into something bigger and better than the boy asked for or expected. Amazing.
This video also illustrates to me the power of people to coalesce, to come together and create something beautiful. It shows how quickly things can work and people’s dreams can come true. Instead of taking years something can take days; that’s incredible!
I dream of a world where we support each other. Where we bond to allow everyone’s dreams to manifest. A world where we work together to create something magical and amazing. A world where we coalesce to create something better than we could have done alone.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I am too tired to write a blogpost tonight, so instead I’m going to link to a story about a community’s outpouring of support for a family-owned business instead of a corporate chain. Because sometimes the little guy really can win:
In the era of big boxes, a day for the little guy.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Happy New Year! On Sunday I was out of town at a retreat so I didn’t blog, but when I was there I experienced a nuance of one of my favorite quotes: “You are never alone or helpless, the force that guides the stars guides you too.” (In fact, it was even made into a song!) I have definitely felt that way – that an invisible force permeated me and my life – but this week I experienced it on a different level.
While in Austin, Texas I shared how I was feeling with some friends of mine and it turns out they were feeling the exact same way! It’s so nice to tell someone you’re heartbroken, or sad, or happy, or scared, or tired, or whatever, and have them say they feel the same way. It makes me feel less alone and crazy. I feel more connected to those around me and less isolated when I know someone else is going through the same thing. There’s a fantastic quote that I can’t find for the life of me that goes something like, “A friend is someone who says, ‘I know, I’ve been there.’” It’s so true! Sometimes I get really in my head and want to pull away from those around me because they can’t possibly be feeling what I’m feeling! They look so together! But it turns out those around me can and do feel similar to me. It’s in that sharing that space within me opens up and I feel less alone. I feel connected.
This is not the most profound post, but in essence, sharing with others reminds me I’m not experiencing life in a vacuum. That other people have problems, other people have feelings, other people don’t have all the answers either. It reminds me I’m human and that we’re all trying to buoy each other. That we’re supporting one another while working through our “stuff.” It reminds me I don’t have to be “perfect” before I can help others because instead it’s my imperfection that bonds me to others. It reminds me I’m not supposed to weather storms all on my own. And sharing how I feel also lessens my emotional load. Expressing it to someone else who is undergoing the same thing makes it seem less weighty. It’s the concept behind “misery loves company.” In my experience misery is not the only emotion that loves company, they all do.
Mostly, as I re-enter real life after coming back from vacation, I’m reminded I’m not alone. Not only because the force that guides the stars guides me too, but also because those around me are going through similar experiences. And being able to share it is a beautiful thing.
I dream of a world where we express how we’re feeling. A world where we know other people can and do understand us. A world where we open up to others because we realize we’re not alone in our experiences and nor should we be. A world where we understand we are never alone or helpless.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Right now I’m in Chicago for a work conference and I’m touched by how broad my community is. I feel extremely blessed because it seems wherever I go, I know someone. I’m especially lucky in this trip because my sister recently moved here and my uncle lives not too far out of the city. What I’m noticing though is there seems to be a broader movement around the U.S. to expand our definition of community.
Watching the video below a friend made brought tears to my eyes because at the various occupy movements people are being cared for:
#Occupy Bay Area from Abraham Heisler on Vimeo.
The homeless, the mentally ill, everyone is being cared for. Everyone is being given food, a place to sleep, and healthcare. This is community. When we all work to support one another. No more individualistic, survival of the fittest blah di blah. Love, compassion, support. It’s being demonstrated among strangers. The definition of “community” is broadening to encompass not only those close to us, but those we don’t even know at all.
It’s hard for me to describe just how much this touches me. That strangers are taking care of each other not because of a natural disaster or a crisis but just because. Because it’s needed. People are handing out food because they want to be of service, they want to help. I’m crying as I write this 1) because I’m super tired and 2) because I’ve been hoping this day would come and now it has. It is beyond sweet to know other people are watching out for each other. I feel it on a personal level because as I wrote about last week, for many years I felt like I had to take care of myself all by myself. To lean into a community is AMAZING. And to see larger communities developing is also amazing.
I dream of a world where we continue to take care of one another. A world where we support those around us — including strangers — to the best of our capacity. A world where we know what we give we also receive. A world where we understand what it means to live in a global community.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This is semi-related but first of all, have you seen this video of a flock of starlings, also called a murmuration? If not, please watch it because it’s awesome in the truest sense of the word.
Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.
This weekend I had the good fortune of being surrounded by folks who practice the same yoga and meditation I do. We were all close in age with only ten years between the eldest and the youngest. It was a delicious weekend because we had excellent food, but also because it was one of the rare times I was surrounded by a large group of people who I’m very similar too. Sure, I’ve been to tons of yoga and meditation retreats but it’s not as if I’m friends with everyone there like at the gathering this weekend.
I had so much fun this weekend and I bring it up because gatherings like these give me hope for the future. If you’ve been reading AWIP for a while you know I had a rough childhood socially. I had some friends but most of them lived far away. I suffered from a lot of peer rejection and self-defined as the “weird” kid. Not because I ate paste or anything, but because I’m extremely sensitive to energy and cared about things like vegetarianism as an eight-year-old. “Weird” is a title I’ve carried with me for much of my life. Inherent in “weird” is not fitting in or being an outsider. I’ve been shifting my focus away from that because I see how much viewing myself as “weird” has been harmful. This weekend was a prime example because I didn’t feel out of place, I realized it just took me a while to find my flock; as in “Birds of a feather flock together.” For someone who’s felt on the outside for most of her life to finally have a sense of belonging is a thing of beauty.
I know there’s a lot of talk about the necessity of cross pollination, of mixing different classes, races, and mindsets, which I completely agree with, but there’s also something to be said for being with people who get you. People who already have a shared understanding of where you’re coming from so there’s no need to explain things to them. People who love and support you and just want to see you happy. It’s a beautiful and touching thing, that sort of community. So I guess in essence that’s what inspires me most. That someone who constantly defined herself as “different” could find herself around other “different” people. That so much love and support could be given and received. Like those starlings who created new shapes by flying together, when people join in groups, beautiful things can happen. Because ultimately even the “loners” and “freaks” will find others like them. It may just take a while. In essence, no one is as alone as they think they are. And when a bird finds its flock there’s great power in that.
I dream of a world where everyone feels a sense of community and belonging. A world where every person has a support network. A world where no one has to fend for themselves because we are all taking care of each other. A world where we can all live happy, joyous, and free. A world where we can all fly with a flock that fits us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Yesterday my company had another round of layoffs, from which I was spared. Last night I talked to my friend, expressing to him I felt so powerless and frustrated about the whole thing. He reminded me I’m not powerless, I’m not helpless. Just as I project thoughts into the universe about my needs and wants, so too can I do the same thing for the world. Obviously this entire blog is an expression of that but really his comment got me thinking my dreams do make a difference.
The whole conversation reminded me to keep dreaming, to keep projecting what I want this world to be like and eventually, in the proper moment, that world will manifest. When God deems fit, the world we wish to see will rise to the surface like a bubble fizzing through carbonated water. In the meantime it’s important to keep dreaming, keep talking about the world we’d like to see. To dream collectively, if you will.
I see how it’s important not just for me to declare what I’d like the world to be, but for others to do the same. If a bunch of us keep talking about how we’d like a peaceful world, a loving world, a world where people are valued above all else, where all our needs are guaranteed – God has no choice but to make it happen. The universe has to grant that wish – isn’t that what the law of attraction is? Project what you’d like and eventually it will come to fruition? So wouldn’t it follow the same is true on a grand, macro scale? The same is true for how we’d like the world to be?
To that end I encourage everyone to start dreaming, and dream collectively if you can because united we are more powerful than we are individually. (For anyone in the Bay Area I’ve created a meetup in September for expressly that purpose.)
I know and trust a better world will grow like a sapling coming from the earth. I know and trust the force of our collective vibration will burst out like the sun after a rainy day, drenching us in warmth and light. I know the world we wish to see will manifest if we keep on projecting what we want.
So here are some of my dreams:
I dream of a world where people are treated as the valuable creatures they are. I dream of a world where all our needs are met. Where we are guaranteed food, education, clothing, shelter and medical care. A world where we wake up each morning secure in the knowledge we are all taken care of. I dream of a world where each person can realize his or her full potential because we recognize the only barrier in life is our own mind. I dream of a world where love reigns supreme. Where we do cartwheels in the fields of life and laugh uproariously. I dream of a world filled with joy and ease and grace. A world where we know love, give love, receive love. A world filled with peace. A world where we live in the moment, enjoying what’s before us, feeling grateful for what we have. I dream of a world where we know anything is possible through God’s grace and we only wish for what’s in our best interest. I dream of a harmonious world, a peaceful world, a loving world.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
The other day on my way to work I was stopped at a red light waiting for the little green man to indicate it was safe for me to cross the street.
A cab driver had the misfortune to be jutting out on the crosswalk and infringing in the space ahead of him, perpendicular to oncoming traffic. Cars driving past honked at the man; pedestrians shook their fists and called the cabbie a jerk (or worse). While stopped at the light, witnessing the spectacle, I could feel the anger/annoyance/frustration bubbling off those around me. I felt how their anger contributed to a bad vibration. To creating a sense of unrest and an emotion quite the opposite of peace.
The now famous Heather mentioned to me many moons ago about nonviolent communication, which basically operates off the premise language has a big affect on the state of the planet. If we communicate with each other peacefully, in a nonviolent manner, compassionately, we promote peace and harmony amongst ourselves. The harmonious environment creates a ripple effect, spreading from one person to another but also changes the Earth in an energetic way. The more peace we experience in our own lives, the more peace we can bestow upon the planet.
What excites me about nonviolent communication is it places the power to create peace in my hands, in your hands, in everyone’s hands. It feels like a tangible way to promote peace everyday. Instead of banging down the door of those in power, it’s a change I can make in my life with some very real results. Here is a youtube clip from the founder of NVC, Marshall Rosenberg talking about a mediation experience between two warring tribes:
I dream of a world where we live in peace. A world where everyone everywhere feels safe at all times, day and night. A world where violence is not tolerated on a global or a local scale. A world where we treat each other with compassion and respect. A world where we communicate effectively, really listening to one another and try to meet the other person’s needs. A world where we live harmoniously with one another in peace and prosperity. A world where we feel protected at each and every moment. A world where peace reigns supreme.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Lately I’ve been thinking about community, how everyone feels a need to connect. How as human beings an integral part of our existence is a longing to fit somewhere. Most of us already have a community we belong to, but what if that community were bigger and grander? What if we truly became a global community?
I envision a world where we take down our fences, our borders, our guards and “keep out” fades from existence. I envision a world where we all understand what I do affects you, what you do affects me — that we all affect each other. I envision a world where there’s a true sense of community around the world, so we cannot stand seeing our brothers and sisters suffer, and in fact we all take care of one another. I envision a world where the phrase “starving artist” ceases to exist because our creative people are allowed to express themselves in whatever capacity they choose and don’t have to worry about earning a living from their art. I envision a world where love is what makes the world go ’round. Where compassion reigns supreme and we all support each other. I envision a world where we are not only individuals but part of a larger group. A group that loves us, supports us and takes care of us. I envision a world where I cannot utter “I’m lucky I have a community” because everyone has a community. Everyone belongs. The lone wolf, the lone ranger, the outsider will no longer exist because we are all insiders. The circle will be huge and grand and encompass everyone. My community will be anywhere and everywhere. I can belong in the U.S., in Belize, in Iran, in China, in Namibia. I can belong anywhere. Everywhere.
I envision a world where my community is your community. Where you and I are linked. Where we all support each other without forgoing our individuality. Where I can strike out on my own but also look behind me and see the safety net waiting to catch me if I fall. I envision a life where the world is my community. The world is where I belong.
This world is already manifesting. I can already see it. Not only is another world possible, it’s probable.
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