I consistently wish my life was easier. I fantasize about getting everything I want immediately without any effort. It sounds like heaven. But then I remember a scene from the final season of The Good Place. If you haven’t watched The Good Place and you plan to, stop reading here.
In the penultimate episode, Eleanor and crew finally make it to heaven. And it’s fantastic – it offers cozy dinner parties, stardust milkshakes, music you can eat, and hoverboards. Every whim is indulged immediately. Except, the novelty of constant pleasure wears off and the residents become lackluster, passive, and incurious. In short, heaven is boring.
Watching that episode was the first time it occurred to me that getting everything you want when you want it could be dull. That perhaps we enjoy things because we have to work for them, or we have to wait for them. It was a reminder there’s joy to be found in accomplishing a goal after making an effort, like learning a new language and finding you can understand the majority of a conversation rather than just a word or two. Or working your way up to playing “Moonlight Sonata” on the piano instead of just “Chopsticks.”
It’s much more exciting to jump over hurdles than to trot in a circle. Photo by Gene Devine on Unsplash
Maybe it’s the obstacles that make life satisfying. A part of me can’t believe I just wrote that because again, I’d take a little more instant gratification and a little less hard work, thanks. However, that’s not flesh and blood life. My spiritual teacher says:
“Can we achieve honor, status and other things that we want in this material world without a struggle? And when we consider our aspiration for development and advancement in the mental world, that also cannot be brought about without a struggle. That is why, everywhere, whether in the crude or subtle sphere, struggle is the essence of life.”
He also says later on, “[I]t is clear that one who wants to keep away from obstacles has lost the essence of life.” I mean, he’s right. Heaven, a place without struggle, is where people go after they’ve lived, according to some traditions. We call it the “afterlife” for a reason. To be alive, to be on planet Earth, requires overcoming obstacles and that’s also what makes life interesting. If I were to watch a TV show where nothing happened, where the main character got everything they wanted immediately without any conflict before or after, I’d be bored. It would be like watching paint dry, and I’m sure some people enjoy that, but I do not.
The shift for me is recognizing that not only do I enjoy watching people overcome obstacles in the media I consume, but in my own life too. That as much as I complain about how things are hard, and I do wish they were easier, my life is far from boring. There are days when I’m bored for sure, but the tenor of my life in general is interesting. A friend of mine says to me frequently, “I’m on the edge of my seat” in regards to witnessing my life unfold. That’s because I have one plot twist after another, which certainly keeps life exciting.
I dream of a world where we recognize without obstacles, life is boring. A world where we understand we enjoy things more if we have to work for them or wait for them. A world where we remember to be alive means to struggle. A world where we embrace that struggle and realize it’s what keeps life interesting.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I experienced something this week that seems like a good metaphor for my life right now. On Thursday, I started to wash my clothes but noticed I didn’t have enough quarters to dry them as well. I decided to wash them anyway and hang everything up to dry. However, when I descended to the laundry room to acquire my clothes, I found them sitting in a pool of water — the washing machine hadn’t drained the water. Luckily, my landlord was onsite so I alerted him to the problem. He unplugged the machine, started it again, added more quarters to see if that made a difference — nada.
Defeated, I pulled my sopping wet clothes from the machine, leaving the lid up to broadcast to anyone else the washing machine’s malfunction. However, a short while later, my landlord knocked on my door and said he heard the washing machine start up again. He gave me three dollars in quarters to try my load once more. Not only did the machine work, but also I had an extra $1.50 in quarters to be able to dry my clothes. Huzzah! Things were difficult, but hardship paved the way for ease.
Swinging is hard, then it’s easy. Photo by Yoori Koo on Unsplash
I’m hopeful the same will be true with other aspects of my life, particularly my career. I’m applying for jobs left and right, going on interviews, but still no offers on the table. It’s tough. It’s demoralizing. It’s not what I would call easy. But maybe the universe is constructing things so they will become easy. Perhaps the obstacles right now are also for my benefit.
My spiritual teacher says, “The path of spiritual excellence is strewn with numerous obstacles.” And also, “When one sets out to complete a great task, innumerable difficulties must be confronted. The greater the task, the mightier the obstacles.” I didn’t think the task of being employed would be so great, but it is because I’m not suited for every job and not every job is suited for me. That means a lot of hurdles to clear. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow requires some legwork to find.
I can’t do more about my situation than I already am other than change my perspective. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control what I think about it. Right now I’m choosing to believe this is all happening for a reason, and while it’s really not fun, eventually it will pan out and things will be easy. Until they’re hard again and then easy again and then hard again ad infinitum.
I dream of a world where things are hard at first and then they’re easy. A world where we see how even the difficult things lead to something easier down the road. A world where we understand everything slots together like a puzzle but we can’t see the whole picture yet until it’s finished.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
“Life is so hard. Why does everything have to be so difficult?” is a tape I often play in my head. I used to walk around life bracing myself for hardship, waiting for my next obstacle, expecting the other shoe to drop. I am much better now because I’m learning to live life in real time but a part of me still clutches to the belief life is grueling. A part of me still thinks life is a series of obstacles but I tell myself it’s ok because, “Struggle equals growth! And struggle is the essence of life!”
I am quickly abandoning that belief.
Yes, struggling is an asset but I’m rejecting the notion it has to be hard. I’d rather move past my obstacles like a river coursing around rocks – with ease and flexibility. I’d rather it were easy. And you know what? It can be. I’m reminded of the saying, “As you think, so you become.” Our thoughts are powerful – changing our thought patterns is the whole premise behind affirmations, the use of mantras, etc. If I think life is hard and difficult and complicated, guess what? Life becomes hard and difficult and complicated!
Sometimes my life feels a little bit like gears grinding into place. Rusty old gears. That take a lot of exertion to click into position. Why would I choose for my life to be like that?
I would rather my life were light and easy and joyful. I would rather do cartwheels in the grass and smile broadly. I would rather feel happy and at peace. I want my life to be easy. Life is what we make it, what we tell ourselves, how we approach things. Life is easy when I ask for it and when I think it can be.
Do I know for sure changing my thoughts works? I’ve heard tale but I personally don’t know yet. What I can tell you is it feels much better to say to myself, “I now choose to make my life light and easy and joyful,” than, “Life is hard and filled with struggle.” It feels much better to believe I can have an easy life so I’m willing to try to replace the tapes I play in my head.
And I have the same wish for others.
I dream of a world where people believe life can be light and easy and joyful. A world where people experience true happiness. A world filled with smiles and bliss and ease. A world where we all dance in the divine rhythm and flow along with life. A world where we believe we are taken care of in each and every moment. A world where we recognize the power of the mind and change our thoughts accordingly. I dream of a world where not only do we believe life can be light and easy and joyful but where it is.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.