I’ve had this idea in my mind that if something is effortless for me it’s not valuable. Because if it’s effortless, than anyone can do it and it’s cheapened – we all know it’s only when something is rare, like gold, that it becomes valuable. For me, the things that come naturally are writing, being loving, and acting as a counselor.
I’ve held the notion that because I wrote and published a book myself, it’s not a big deal. Anyone can do it; it’s not such an achievement because it’s not like I sold my book to Random House, or Penguin, or any of the top publishers. It’s not really a triumph. And being loving, sending love to everyone, doesn’t make much of a difference, it’s not like I invented a cure for cancer or something. And so what if people call me up when they’re having a rough time? Because it’s easy for me, because I’m a natural at all these things, they don’t hold much value. In my mind, only if something is difficult does it have worth.
What I love about this picture of me meditating is just looking at it I can *feel* the good vibes I'm emanating.
I’m sure my friend Amal, who’s big into astrology, would say this is my Capricorn rising rearing its ugly head. The sentiment for Capricorns is to find satisfaction in hard work. My lifecoach and I explored this concept of something being valuable only if it’s difficult. We pretended I was a debt collector and played out how I would feel about it (horrible) and how I would be of service to the world (I wouldn’t be). We also pretended I was a math professor – I’m not bad at math, but it’s definitely a subject I struggle with and have to make an effort if I want to succeed. What would I contribute to the world if I was a math professor? Nothing, considering how much work it takes for me to grasp basic concepts.
What I’m getting at here, what I’m coming to understand, is we were all given certain gifts for a reason. We were imbued with our talents not so we could squander them, but so we can use them, so we can make a difference in the world with what comes naturally to us. Our gifts are not worthless because they’re easy, they’re precious because they’re gifts. This has become very clear to me in the physical realm because I lost an earring my sister got me from Prague. I’m not upset the earring itself is missing; I’m upset because it is an irreplaceable gift from my sister. Similarly, the gifts we’ve been given are from the universe/God/Brahma/the divine and are irreplaceable.
What I’m saying here is who I am and what I have to offer are valuable. My gifts are precious. They may be easy for me, but that doesn’t mean they’re worthless. It’s important to be me, to use my talents, to serve with them. My gifts have been given to me for a reason. Just like Rosie gave me earrings to wear, the divine gave me words to write, a big heart to love, and a sound ear to listen. My lifecoach wrote to me, “You don’t get to make up that not being you is somehow serving you anymore.” Nor is it serving anyone else.
I dream of a world where we realize just because something is easy doesn’t mean it has no value. A world where we hold dear the gifts that have been given to us and we use them. A world where we let ourselves be who we are, understanding there’s nothing more precious than our gifts.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Last week I wrote about the “next” economy or “gift” economy. This week I’m excited because it seems en masse people are realizing our current economic system is flawed. More than a thousand people have gathered for Occupy Wall St. and similar events are popping up in cities around the United States.
For those of you who don’t know, the movement is the expression of people dissatisfied with being a part of the 99% of the population who are not super wealthy. There is a whole tumblr about it actually. Here is one of the entries:
“I have my health. I have a job. I have no debt, and no dependents. I have a tiny bit of savings and a small retirement fund that I cling to.
But Wall Street is hungry, and our political leaders have shown whose side they are on. Business and government will work together to steal what we have.
I did not get here, to this tiny island of stability, alone. I owe so much to my brothers and sisters who worked hard for the ideals of DEMOCRACY and LIBERTY and FREEDOM.
And I will not stand by, silent, while any of my brothers and sisters falls through the cracks: the sick, the unemployed, and underemployed, the kids who depend on us all.
I will not stand by while the One Percent who have manipulated our social contract to their vast favor leave the rest of us to fend for ourselves.
I will not stand for it.
And I am not alone.
I am the 99%.”
You might be asking, why exactly this inspires me. It’s because about 10 years ago I had a conversation with a classmate, trying to explain why capitalism was a flawed system and she said to me, “If those people worked hard for their money I don’t see why we should limit how much they make. I don’t see why they can’t make as much money as they want because they earned it.” I’m inspired by this Occupy Wall St. protest because it shows me people are becoming more heart centered. They are starting to become more compassionate. They’re starting to see what happens to the homeless man down the street is not ok. I’m inspired because people are starting to care. As a 17-year-old it was hard for me to put into words capitalism doesn’t work because it rewards the greedy and it’s selfish. How on earth could I win the argument if the person I was talking to would respond by saying, “So?”
I love that we’re showing compassion for each other. That people are saying, “Hey, you know, greed is not ok and I won’t stand idly by watching someone gobble up the wealth while the rest of us are fighting for scraps.” I love that we’re wanting to support each other. That we’re wanting to ensure everyone in the world gets their needs met. How AMAZING is that?
I dream of a world where everyone gets their basic needs met. A world where we are all taken care of because we take care of each other. A world where we’re supported. A world where wealth is shared and we show respect and compassion for our fellows. A world where we live more in our hearts than in our heads.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
What I am sooooo excited about is the “next” economy or the “gift” economy. I was introduced to the concept of a gift economy by Dr. Aumatma Shah, who runs a holistic health care clinic in Oakland called the Karma Clinic. In essence, she offers her naturopathic services as a gift, only charging for remedies and supplements. It’s not free though, it’s a gift, there’s an important distinction. The energy inherent in “free” is take. The energy inherent in “gift” is, “This is an act of love and service.” Dr. Shah explicitly says in order to heal it’s important to give away what has been given. One cannot hold on tightly to the gift because the energy stops there with them. Does that make sense? It’s like what I wrote about a few months ago when because of the generosity I’d been shown re: my kickstarter campaign I felt like being generous myself. The gift doesn’t have to be money, it can be anything.
The reason I love the next economy or the gift economy so much is because it’s based on these four principles:
- Moving from transaction to trust,
- Consumption to contribution,
- Isolation to community,
- And scarcity to abundance.
Wow! Talk about my ideal world! Some people may scoff and say it will never work, but let me tell you, it does. My business coach, a big proponent of the next economy, said he’s not going to charge me for his expertise because we’re friends and he wants to be of service and help me be of service. Instead, he wants me to help out when and where I can. Let me tell you, when he said that to me a big weight lifted off my chest because I’m not in a position at the moment to pay him. What I love so much about this economy model is it emphasizes our relationships and not material goods. I’ve been receiving so many instances of this lately, not just with my naturopath and business coach, but my friend who’s a photographer. I had some pictures taken of me at the beginning of the year but I feel so radically different I want new author photos. And my professional photographer friend said he’ll take them free of charge and to buy him dinner or something. Huzzah!
What gets to me is the kindness that has been shown to me. That there are so many people who are willing to help me, who understand money is not everything, and really live that way. It’s truly a gift to be surrounded by so many loving, talented people who are willing to share their services with the world. In my business coach’s blog he sums up the next economy thusly:
“Human enterprises will be designed in service to all human needs while benefiting the earth and all life. The goal of doing business in the next economy is to be of service to life while doing what you love – finding ‘work’ so full of joy and purpose you cannot really call it work.”
That is precisely what I want and I’m incredibly inspired because I’m seeing evidence of it around me. People who are knowingly and unknowingly incorporating service into their business. People who understand our work lives and our personal lives shouldn’t be so radically different, because after all, we’re still people and deserve to be treated that way.
I dream of a world where we give what we’ve been given. A world where we conduct business with kindness, generosity, and love. A world where we take care of each other and focus on the infinite possibilities life has to offer. A world where we value relationships and respect each other. A world where we understand there doesn’t need to be a “business as usual” because there can be a new way of doing business.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’ve been lying to myself for quite some time now. I’ve believed something that is blatantly not true but I’m resentful it’s false. You see, I honestly believed if I was a good girl, if I behaved, I would get everything I wanted. I believed God was like Santa Claus who rewarded the virtuous and punished the wicked. If I ate all my vegetables and treated people with kindness I would get a Barbie Dream House. What do you mean that’s not true?
This belief could also be called “entitlement,” which is particularly insidious because it taints my relationship with a higher power. Entitlement coats the relationship with resentment. It enrolls me in a game no one else is playing.
I started thinking about a world where a Santa Claus God did exist. What it would look like and who I would be. Spoiled and selfish for one. All I would do is take, take, take. Ask for more from my higher power. There would be no love, there would be only ego. My ego would overcome everything, consume everything until ultimately it destroyed the world. Would I care about the environment? About other people? Probably not. Life would be about me and my desires and how they can be satisfied. I would only be good and kind as a means to an end.
Here is what I understand now. If life operated the way I wanted it to, where I could bargain with God, I would never find the divinity resting within me. I would never understand how we’re all connected. I would never move closer to the light. How can I merge with God if I feel a separation? That’s what “merge” means. No distinction. If God constantly resided outside of me I would never become enlightened because there would always be two entities: me and God. I’m not sure I’m making any sense but I guess I’m saying in order to move closer to the light I have to become the light. I have to become divine. I have to become my higher power and I cannot do so if I think I’m anything other than light, love and divinity. So really this Santa Claus God complex is just another ego construct.
Here’s the other thing I realized. I am gifted by the universe not because I’m a good girl who gives up her seat for the elderly, but because I am loved. My higher power loves me so much I am bestowed with the things I desire. That is the true meaning of a gift. It’s an act of love. I may be bargaining with my higher power but my higher power is not bargaining with me. HP just loves me and wants to show that love by giving me a gorgeous apartment in San Francisco, a job I enjoy and a plethora of friends. My higher power wants me to have what I want just because I’m loved. So the resentment I’ve been carrying around? The good-girl complex? They’re all for naught. Entitlement and Santa Claus are both lies.
Lastly I’d like to leave you with a saying a friend of mine has. He said when he asks his higher power for something he gets three answers: “Yes,” “Yes but not now,” or, “No but I have something better for you.” Nothing ever comes to me as a means of punishment. It doesn’t matter how well I behave. That’s not why I’m getting my heart’s desires. They are coming to me because I am knowingly or unknowingly riding a current of love.
I dream of a world where we stop bargaining for what we want. A world where we realize we do not control what gifts we receive. A world where we understand gifts are tokens of love, especially when they come to us from a higher power. A world where we let ourselves be loved just as we are.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.