A little more than nine years ago I wrote one of my favorite posts: “Hitching Wagons to Stars.” It wasn’t particularly well read. It didn’t garner numerous comments or shares, but it’s one of my favorites because it speaks to a recurring dynamic in my life: shining.
The phrase “Hitch your wagon to a star” comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay Civilization. In it he talks about partnering with the natural world to create something new. His quote though has since morphed to mean “Always aspire to do great things,” and then “Try to succeed by forming a relationship with someone who is already successful.”
I’ve frequently taken the latter approach myself, trying to sidle up to someone else who is famous or successful. If we’re using the wagon and star analogy, I usually envision myself as the wagon and never the star. A part of me believes I can’t shine without the presence of someone else. I want someone else’s light to rub off on me. That means I cross my fingers Chris Evans will like an Instagram post where I thank him for playing Captain America, or that Elizabeth Gilbert will thumbs up a blogpost where I mention her. And when they don’t, I feel first sad and then angry because my master plan was thwarted. My master plan being if someone famous notices me, then I’ll finally achieve what I’ve wanted all along: to be a star.
We can all be one of these. Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash
I don’t want to be a star in the traditional sense – I can’t act and while I have a nice voice, it’s not Grammy-award winning. I don’t even necessarily want to be an influencer because it sounds exhausting to post something fun and interesting and beautiful on Instagram every day. But I still want to be a star, which for me means writing a bestselling book and having a large swathe of people care about what I have to say. I know numerous people already care about what I have to say, for which I’m grateful, but I want there to be more of them.
These days what I’m coming to understand is I don’t have to rely on someone else to give me what I want. I don’t need to be retweeted or reshared to propel me to stardom, which is perhaps why it hasn’t happened. I’m not doing myself any favors by viewing myself as a wagon instead of a star. I can shine brightly on my own. We all can. We are each of us stars in our own right – some smaller, some larger, but still a star.
I dream of a world where we realize we don’t need someone else in order to shine. A world where we don’t limit ourselves and what we’re capable of. A world where we understand we don’t need to hitch our wagon to a star because we can be our own star.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I just moved on Friday so I am in no shape to write a blogpost, hence I’m recycling this one from February 2009. Enjoy!
I am the type of person who wants to do things BIG. I want to make a big splash, a big difference, a big impact, etc. A few years ago, I went to Jamaica because I wanted to do big-time service, but when I was there I learned service is the little things too.
I’m starting to believe I can find meaning and purpose in the small things as well.
Last week I would have told you to make difference, to really change the world, requires a best-selling book or a cure for cancer, something like that. Then I started thinking about it. I started burrowing down into the root cause of “making a difference.” Why do I want to write a book? Why is finding a cure for cancer such a big deal? Then it hit me: Duh, it’s because it affects other people! I started to realize the change, the impact comes from the interaction with people. Finding a cure for cancer is only meaningful if people know about it, if the antidote becomes widespread. Writing a book is only helpful if people actually read it and it touches them.
The entire world can be reflected in a moment. This image courtesy of MyEveryDayJourney.net.
As I pondered this, I realized my everyday life has meaning and value beyond the larger things I engage with because of the way I interact with others. Saying please and thank you. Smiling. Acknowledging the homeless woman on the corner. They may seem like small acts, but I’m reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou who said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Asking the bank teller how her day is going may not be earth-shattering, but she will certainly remember if I’m snarly and impatient.
I’m also reminded that society is made up of individuals and at this moment in time, my scope is small. I interact with a few individuals everyday, so that’s where I make a difference — in how I’m treating those around me. I think it’s really easy to become self-centered and forget that other people want us to ask how they’re doing too. Today I was at the grocery store and a worker asked me how I was doing, to which I retorted, “I’m fine thanks. How are you?” She thanked me for asking her! How simple, but also how powerful? How often are we really listening to one another? How often are we showing up for each other? Meaning, service, and an impact comes not just from becoming the president of the United States, but from calling up a friend when they’re going through a rough time, or driving someone to the airport.
I know I want to do big things, but I guess I’m saying little things help too. And I can find meaning in the everyday.
I dream of a world where we understand how we interact with others is where the difference, the change, the meaning comes from. A world where we realize smiling at the hot dog vendor has merit. A world where we pursue our big dreams while at the same time having sweet and smiling behavior on the day to day level. A world where we find meaning in the everyday.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Am I blogging on Christmas? Why yes, yes I am. Because today is Christmas, I thought I would take this time to talk about Jesus. Maybe it’s because I’m Jewish, but to me, Jesus seems like a mythical figure on the order of Zeus or Apollo. He lived so long ago that sometimes I take for granted he actually existed. He was born, he bled, he defecated. Jesus was a human being. Yes, an amazing human being, but he still existed, was still blood and bones the same as you and I. And that is pretty astounding to me. What I also found out today courtesy of one of my facebook friends, is Sir Isaac Newton was also born today. Newton wasn’t Jesus, but he was still a pretty remarkable guy.
This all probably seems very random, but it’s related because I am inspired by these people. People who were alive, people who cried, people who got angry. When I hear about folks like Jesus or Isaac Newton or Albert Einstein or Martin Luther King Jr. I somehow put them above me. I think to myself, “Those were amazing human beings but I could never do anything like they did. I could never accomplish what they did. I’m just a girl from Kansas (which coincidentally is the title of my book).” I somehow don’t believe they felt the things I felt or struggled the way I struggled. Even when I read about the person’s challenges, in my mind it might as well be fiction because I’m so far removed. So today I’m reminded they are just like me. And in reality, why couldn’t you or I do world-changing things? What separates you and I from Newton, Einstein, MLK, Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Shakespeare, or any of the other greats we read about? Nothing. They were people just like us. They had fears and failures just like us.
Today I feel on a very core level there is no separation from me and someone like Jesus or Newton or MLK. We all come from the same source. We’re all made of the same material. We all feel things. Any of the great people we read about could have just as easily said, “You know, I’m pretty tired, I think I’ll sit this out and let someone else do it.” The beautiful thing about all these people is they didn’t. They decided to push through their fears, to keep going, to not let the challenges stand in their way. They show us we too have the capacity for greatness. We too can do amazing, inspiring, uplifting things. We too have the potential to go down in the history books.
I dream of a world where we all know no person – alive or dead – is superior or inferior to us. A world where we understand nothing sets us apart from great people other than choice. A world where we pay attention to what we really love and then go do it. A world where we honor the giants among us while also knowing we are one of the giants too.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’ve been living in a gilded cage, accepting the subtle messages and indoctrination about what I can hope to accomplish in my life. “You’re not born into wealth or fame? The best you can hope for is a job that pays the bills, where you’ll work until your health starts to deteriorate, a faithful spouse, and good kids.” As my friend Mark from
Yet when I graduated from college I felt such despair because I wasn’t satisfied with that life. I wanted my life to be about more than just going to work and being social. And the good Lord answered.
My Creator sent me people to rattle my cage, to open my door. Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a little bit psychic. He started telling me all these things I will do and accomplish in my life. My first reaction was, “What? Are you serious? I’m just a girl from
When I asked my friend how to let go of my fear and my limiting beliefs he said in his (typically) chill manner, “You just do.” I wanted to smack him because how can it be that easy? Of course he’s right but for those of us who are, shall we say, more stubborn, I think this is where EFT comes in. And affirmations. And meditation. And all the things that help us move beyond our limitations. Because while I may not be able to do back flips and round offs right now, I certainly won’t be able to do them if I think I never can.
So I am flying out of my gilded cage and soaring to new heights. Knowing I am fully capable of accomplishing amazing things. Knowing if I continue to follow the signs and my heart’s desires my life will be even more fulfilling, more exciting, and bigger than I could have ever planned.
A friend of mine posted a youtube video that fits in really nicely with this. It lists all these people like Thomas Edison who was told he was too stupid to learn anything and how he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality. Or Abraham Lincoln, whose fiancée died, failed at business twice, had a nervous breakdown and was defeated in eight elections. Or even one of my personal heroes, Elizabeth Gilbert, who when she wrote, “Eat, Pray, Love,” had no idea it would turn into this runaway bestseller and become adapted into a movie starring Julia Roberts. It just goes to show we don’t know what’s ahead and we are capable of so much more than we and others give us credit for.
So when someone comes along to rattle your cage, and they will, I hope you too will choose to fly out. To push through the fear, the insecurity, and the limiting beliefs. Yes the cage is comfortable and familiar but it’s too small for a bird of our stature. We deserve to spread our wings fully and fly freely. We deserve and are capable of so much more than we dreamed.
I envision a world where we cast aside the dogma and indoctrination our lives should progress in a certain way. I dream of a world where we move beyond limitation and lack to a place where we know everything is possible and our capacity to achieve is infinite. Where we know the world is big and broad and expansive. Where we know as we think so we become. Thus we think of ourselves as magnificent and glorious and capable of anything.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
More and more I feel like all I want to do is be who I am, to realize my potential, to step into the light and shine more brightly. I feel like much of my life has been spent wanting to feel normal and ordinary, wanting to blend in. I think what I’ve been doing to a degree is tarnishing my brilliance to fit in with others.
I’m reminded of a great quote by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I couldn’t agree more. I’m a place these days where I want everyone to shine. I think there’s a rampant belief that greatness is few and far between. That not everyone can be a Mozart or a Michelangelo – most of us are doomed to live an ordinary, boring life. I say that’s not true.
I say there is potential for greatness within each of us. I say within all of us there is an extraordinary being just waiting to rise to the surface. A person capable of great and amazing things. A person who can write sonnets, a person who can compose a symphony, a person who can invent something spectacular. Instead of being a diamond in the rough, I want to be one diamond among many. I want to sparkle in the sunlight surrounded by beauty, knowing my brilliance is no more and no less than anyone else’s. I want to be the divine child of God that I am and I want others to do the same.
At the same time I recognize there has been a societal message obfuscating our magnificence. And so I leave you with a youtube video to help clear the energetic pathways so we can become the divine magnificent people we are meant to be:
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.