“Human beings should base their lives on an ideology. Those without an ideology do not view the world rationally or benevolently, but view it with the greedy eye of an exploiter.” – Shrii Shrii Anandamurtii
I’ve been thinking about the quote above all week, particularly how the “greedy eye of an exploiter” shows up in regards to relationships.
In her book A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson says ego-driven relationships are based on exploitation. “[E]ach one thinks the other has what he has not. They come together, each to complete himself and rob the other. They stay until they think that there is nothing left to steal, and then move on. And so they wander through a world of strangers, unlike themselves, living with their bodies perhaps under a common roof that shelters neither; in the same room and yet a world apart.”
Let’s pursue an ideology the way horses do: Full speed ahead.
Ouch. As much as I hate to admit it, I, too, “rob” others. It’s a pretty common setup, actually. How often are we told to list the qualities we’re looking for in an ideal partner, and how often do we possess those qualities ourselves? I know for me, I usually list things like “lighthearted” and “easygoing” because I want to balance out my serious and intense nature. When I think about Anandamurtii’s quote though, the concept makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to exploit anyone – I’d much rather freely share my gifts with others, and vice versa, but not feel dependent on someone else so that I may be lighthearted and easygoing.
Miraculously, I am developing the qualities in myself that I seek in others. Right now, I’m looking for a place to live for the millionth, billionth time. Usually, I’m an anxious mess making contingencies after contingencies. This time I’m not worried about it. I have many friends in the area so I know I won’t be sleeping on the street, but more than that, I’m trusting I’ll be taken care of and something will show up.
In another example, I hitched a ride with a friend from LA to Oakland and he said to me, “If I hadn’t driven you, how would you have gotten back?” I responded, “I don’t know.” Because I didn’t. In fact, I didn’t even ask him to drive me, he offered. And if he hadn’t, well, I would have figured it out. My friend was taken aback because here I was unconcerned about the whole thing. I’d say that’s pretty lighthearted and easygoing.
I know I’m focusing on romantic relationships here, but I think the principle applies to other areas as well. Obviously there are times when we need help from others, but how often are we quick to sell ourselves short, believing we can’t do something? How often do we think we need someone else before we’ve first turned within?
I guess what I’m saying here is I want to pursue an ideology, one that doesn’t turn me into an exploiter, but rather someone who views the world rationally and benevolently as Anandamurtii suggests. It hasn’t been easy by any means, but I can’t tell you how rewarding it feels to cultivate the qualities in myself that I seek in others.
I dream of a world where we develop the qualities in ourselves that we search for in others. A world where we turn within more than we turn without. A world where we look for opportunities to serve rather than exploit. A world where we pursue an ideology.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Yesterday my company had another round of layoffs, from which I was spared. Last night I talked to my friend, expressing to him I felt so powerless and frustrated about the whole thing. He reminded me I’m not powerless, I’m not helpless. Just as I project thoughts into the universe about my needs and wants, so too can I do the same thing for the world. Obviously this entire blog is an expression of that but really his comment got me thinking my dreams do make a difference.
The whole conversation reminded me to keep dreaming, to keep projecting what I want this world to be like and eventually, in the proper moment, that world will manifest. When God deems fit, the world we wish to see will rise to the surface like a bubble fizzing through carbonated water. In the meantime it’s important to keep dreaming, keep talking about the world we’d like to see. To dream collectively, if you will.
I see how it’s important not just for me to declare what I’d like the world to be, but for others to do the same. If a bunch of us keep talking about how we’d like a peaceful world, a loving world, a world where people are valued above all else, where all our needs are guaranteed – God has no choice but to make it happen. The universe has to grant that wish – isn’t that what the law of attraction is? Project what you’d like and eventually it will come to fruition? So wouldn’t it follow the same is true on a grand, macro scale? The same is true for how we’d like the world to be?
To that end I encourage everyone to start dreaming, and dream collectively if you can because united we are more powerful than we are individually. (For anyone in the Bay Area I’ve created a meetup in September for expressly that purpose.)
I know and trust a better world will grow like a sapling coming from the earth. I know and trust the force of our collective vibration will burst out like the sun after a rainy day, drenching us in warmth and light. I know the world we wish to see will manifest if we keep on projecting what we want.
So here are some of my dreams:
I dream of a world where people are treated as the valuable creatures they are. I dream of a world where all our needs are met. Where we are guaranteed food, education, clothing, shelter and medical care. A world where we wake up each morning secure in the knowledge we are all taken care of. I dream of a world where each person can realize his or her full potential because we recognize the only barrier in life is our own mind. I dream of a world where love reigns supreme. Where we do cartwheels in the fields of life and laugh uproariously. I dream of a world filled with joy and ease and grace. A world where we know love, give love, receive love. A world filled with peace. A world where we live in the moment, enjoying what’s before us, feeling grateful for what we have. I dream of a world where we know anything is possible through God’s grace and we only wish for what’s in our best interest. I dream of a harmonious world, a peaceful world, a loving world.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
“Seven days without laughter makes one weak.” – Mort Walker
Life is funny. Or at least it can be. I think it’s a matter of perspective. In the past I used to have the mind-set, “life is a tragedy” as opposed to a comedy. Guess which experience is more fun?
Yesterday I went to Dolores Park with some friends of mine. We spent a while looking for a good spot – somewhere with partial sun, on a flat-ish part of the hill, a good view of San Francisco, not too crowded – and we found it. I spread my Neat Sheet on the ground, kicked off my shoes, and laid down. I inhaled deeply and noticed a smell. A poop smell. My friends and I attributed it to being downwind from the dog-playing area and didn’t think too much of it. But the smell didn’t go away. We tried to ignore it, talked about moving somewhere else, but stayed where we were. Finally my friend Kyle shifted positions and we noticed a brown spot leaking through the Neat Sheet.
“Is that? Is that dog poop??” I asked.
We lifted up the blanket and sure enough there was a nice, um, spread of feces. Even now I’m laughing about it.
While some people might shake their heads and say, “That’s horrible! How gross!” I instead laugh about it. Neat Sheets can be washed. We still had a good time. No one was harmed in the process (although Kyle joked about being permanently scarred).
I’m not sure if I’m illustrating my point or not but I guess I wanted to say everything is a matter of perspective. Instead of getting upset about a little dog doo I’m laughing about it. Instead of crying, lamenting the situation, or saying, “woe is me,” I choose to laugh. And not just about dog poop but about other things too. I’m choosing to laugh about situations that used to distress me. I’m laughing at God and God’s plan for me. I’m laughing about the craziness of my life and the situations I find myself in. I’m laughing at me. I think God is a big prankster, I mean, how could God not be when you really think about it??
I guess I just want to say my life is more enjoyable, more fun when I’m light-hearted. When I laugh instead of cry. When I find the humor in my situation as opposed to the gravity. When I can say, “God, you’re so funny! You’re such a jokester for putting me in a situation like this!”
And I have that wish for others.
I dream of a world where people experience joy as much as they possibly can. Where they shake off their doldrums and instead dance in the divine rhythm. Where people laugh more instead of cry. Where we all find the humor in our lives. I dream of a world where we know the value of laughter, and not just in a stand-up-comic sense, but laughter when it comes to getting on the wrong bus or sitting in dog poop. Laughter at (most) life situations that could be interpreted with solemnity. I dream of a world where we’re light-hearted and carefree. Where we savor each and every moment of our lives because we experience pure unadulterated joy most of the time.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.