I’m coming to realize how important self-acceptance is. I’m written before about accepting God’s timeline, accepting change, etc. but not a lot about accepting myself.
I bring this up because when I love and accept myself the way that I am, my life feels more peaceful, I’m happier and I feel so free. I can concentrate on things other than what’s “wrong” with me.
As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, there has been a belief within me before I could be loved I had to be perfect. Before I could accept myself I had to do things perfectly, look perfectly, act perfectly, etc. There was a whole lot of negative self-talk going on in my mind. A whole lot of, “Why did you do that?? Why did you say that? What’s wrong with you?!?” And it went even further. I did a lot of physical nit-picking, which unfortunately, is fairly common for women as far as I can tell. There’s a lot of feeling dissatisfied with our body/skin/hair for which we should buy a pill/cream/gel to fix.
Here’s an ad from the magazine lying on my floor: “Take your hair from flat to all-day FABULOUS with TRESemme 24 hour body.” And that’s not even the worse one I could find.
Inherent in TRESemme’s advertising copy is the idea flat hair is bad, undesirable, the opposite of fabulous. “Everyone wants full-bodied hair and now you can have it too with our product!” is the underlying message.
Personally I can say by focusing so much on my “flaws” I’ve been wasting my time and energy. So much of my mind space could be freed up for other things if I didn’t obsess about my physical appearance in a negative way, if I could love and accept myself as I am, right now. What a concept in Western society!
I may have a zit on my chin or frizzy hair but that does not diminish my beauty. I am a divine child of God no matter what. I am beautiful no matter what’s going on externally. My physical ailments are transient, brief flashes in time and space that do not require beauty products from TRESemme.
Last week I wrote about self-worth coming from within and loving myself no matter what happens. This week I can say I love and approve of myself no matter what I look like. I love and approve and accept myself just as I am, right in this moment. And I have that same wish for others.
I dream of a world where we love and approve of ourselves no matter what we’re doing and no matter what we look like. Where we accept our beauty at all times, recognizing our physical ailments are merely expressions of mental patterns that can be changed. (See “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay) Where we recognize the power of our minds to not only affect our lives but our bodies. Where we love ourselves unconditionally as God loves us. Where we accept ourselves for who and what we are, realizing all is inherently right with us. Where we realize our full potential as human beings to manifest the world we wish to see and the people we’d like to become. I dream of a world where the pervading concept is we are beautiful, we are loved, we are perfect just as we are. Where we are bombarded with the message, “There is no one else in the world like you, so cherish yourself as you are, recognizing your good and how wonderful it is you exist.” I dream of a world where we can all walk down the street feeling confident in our skin no matter what we look like, loving ourselves as we deserve to be loved.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This weekend I got to talking about astrology with a friend of mine. He’s really into it so I asked him to pull up my birth chart. (For those of you who don’t know astrology is more than your horoscope. It’s complex and involves your birthday, birth time and location.) Anyway, he pulled it up and told me some things that really irked me, that really got under my skin.
I have to admit here I love astrology. I used to say things like, “Oooh, you’ll get along famously because you’re a Taurus and she’s a Cancer. That’s a really good combination.” I used to be all about the Sun squaring Mercury and Venus conjucting his moon or whatever. After my conversation with my friend though, I realized there has been a contradiction in my beliefs. How can I truly think anything is possible (and probable) if I’m operating under the notion the stars exert influence on me? That my life is destined to go a certain way because of my birth date? (I realize some of you may think astrology is bull hockey but just substitute astrology for “personality trait” or “upbringing” or “background” or whatever fits for you.)
What I’m saying is I think we were all born into this world with something. I’m not in John Locke’s tabula rasa camp. I think we all came into this world with innate tendencies, certain characteristics, karma, if you will, to rise above. But that’s the point: we can rise above anything. It may say in my astrological chart that I burn through money but that’s not the way my life always has to be. It’s something for me to take note of, to watch out for but that I can change. I can change anything. My mind is more powerful than I know and the thoughts I project into this universe come back to me. If I think I will always be poor, I will be. If I think I will be rich, I will be. There is of course action that is also required. If my chart says I’ll be wealthy that doesn’t mean it will happen if I sit on my tush all day and wait for money to fall from the sky. (Although since I’m allowing for all possibilities I have to say this may happen to some people.)
What I’m saying is I think there is an element of destiny in everyone’s life. There are certain things that must happen due to actions we set in motion, either in this life or a previous one. It’s a law of nature that for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. It may be my destiny to get in a car accident but that accident may be a fender bender, crunching up the hood, or a crash replete with flips and crushed metal and broken glass. The severity of things can change. And how I react to situations is up to me. I can say, “Dear Lord, thank you for keeping me safe, for softening the blow of this accident, for taking care of me always,” or “Why are you doing this to me?!? I hate you!!! Everything sucks!!!” Life is what you make it.
There are certain things that must happen but there is still an element of free will. My thoughts still have an effect. My actions still mean something. Just because I came into the world with something doesn’t mean it has to stay with me. I guess I’m saying destiny can change, fate can be altered. The future isn’t set in stone. Astrologically I may be suited for a job as an engineer but if in my heart I want to be a ballerina I can be. I can be anything, I can do anything, I can have anything with God’s grace. There are no limitations. No matter what the stars say, no matter what personality traits we may have, no matter what our upbringing, we can do anything, we can change anything. I’m reminded of an affirmation I posted in April because I think it’s pertinent:
“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing. There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences. Life is never stuck or static or stale, for each moment is ever new and fresh. I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances. I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose. Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old. This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now. All is well in my world.” – Louise L. Hay
I can change, you can change, we can change. We are all powerful beyond measure. We were given certain circumstances, certain characteristics in this life to work through, to work on, but life is what we make it. I choose to live life the way I want. And I have that wish for others.
I dream of a world where we rise above our circumstances, where we veer off the roadmap given to us at birth and make our own way. I dream of a world where we decide what we want in life and then go after it, knowing anything is possible. I dream of a world filled with joy and love and grace. A world where we account for free will and the power of choice. A world where we understand things can change, do change, will change. A world where we recognize the power of our minds and the part we play in our life. A world where we know we can manifest anything and we can change ourselves and our relationships. A world where we know the power is within us at all times.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
This week I finally understood the law of attraction. I’ve been writing about it for a while, but on Tuesday something finally clicked.
I used to think of myself as a passive participant in life. I used to think the Universe acted upon me and there was nothing I could do about it. I guess I held a bit of a victim mentality, a “the world does stuff to me and I don’t like it but there’s nothing I can do about it,” perspective.
I finally understood though that’s not true. That for the most part what I experience in my life comes from the thought-waves I project. Enlightened beings – angels, gurus, etc. – intervene from time to time but mostly I’m responsible for my own reality. For the most part, my life is what I make it. If I choose to be stressed, I will be. If I choose to be relaxed I will be. But beyond my mood and how I choose to react to things, I also create situations for myself. If I worry I’ll be stuck in a dead-end job, I also create that reality.
From that point I jumped to the understanding anything is possible. I realized thought-waves and mental vibrations can truly create anything and everything. From there I took a dangerous, ego-filled step to believing I can do anything. I even wrote, “The universe is my plaything. It’s a big ball of clay to be molded.” And while I do still believe anything is possible and the mind can accomplish great things, I overlooked some important points. I started on an ego-trip, feeling puffed up by my own power.
What I stepped away from is knowing I do not run the show. There is an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent entity that has a much broader perspective than I do. The things that happen in my life? God/Paramapurusa/the Supreme Entity/the Universe/Cosmic Consciousness allows them to happen. I don’t even know “allow” is the best word but it’s the best I can come up with. I’m stepping back and remembering God truly makes everything happen. I may be given the capacity to do things, but that capacity was given to me by God. Everything I do in my life, everything I’m capable of, everything I experience is because of God’s grace. Yes, there is an interplay of energy, I send out a thought-wave, God sends something back, but that’s the crux of the matter: God sends something back. “I” do nothing.
I guess what I’m saying is God ultimately decides everything. God decides whether to “grant” me my desires. God decides the timing for everything. God decides. Yes, there is some autonomy on my end but mostly it’s a partnership with the Universe. I am neither superior nor inferior to God but my human mind can only grasp so much whereas God can see the past, present and future, so God can determine whether my desires are in the highest good for all parties involved.
Lastly I wanted to say I am a divine instrument. God works through me, through everyone. God uses me as a tool to accomplish certain things. The more I brush my ego aside – my wants, my desires, my way of thinking – the better. Getting caught up in my own selfish yearnings will ultimately be my undoing. So again, this is where surrender comes in for me. Aligning my will with God’s will, wanting only what God wants for me and also recognizing everything in my life is through God’s grace.
And I also wanted to say there is no separation. I am God and God is me and we are united. “I” ultimately do not exist, rather I am a specific manifestation of God, pieced together in a certain way to accomplish a certain task at a certain time. I am one with the Supreme and the Supreme works through this human body to achieve things in the physical realm. We are one and the same. So truly the only barrier between me and God is my ego, which is why it’s all the more important to realize what entity truly holds all the cards.
I dream of a world where I and others like me do not fall into an ego trap. Where we crumble our egos and allow God to work through us like the divine instruments we are. Where we truly remember everything in life comes to us through God’s grace. Where we strive not for money, prestige and occult powers, but for love, liberation and pure bliss. Where we know anything is possible but ultimately our power comes from a source greater than ourselves. Where understand we each have a divine purpose and we try to attune ourselves to what that purpose is. Where we see God in everyone and everything and know we are special because we are a specific incarnation of divinity put on this Earth for a specific reason. Where we give love, receive love, know love. Where we wake up and try to realize our true potential as human beings. Where we surrender our desires and strive instead to know God’s will for us.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Today I’m feeling stressed about the Non-Violent Communication Workshop I’m organizing (if you’re in the Bay Area I’d love to see you there!). I took on this task on top of all the other things I’m doing and I’m obsessing because I still don’t have a venue.
On Wednesday I overheard a great quote. The woman spoke about her life in Alcoholics Anonymous and how her sponsor said to her, “Do you think you get yourself sober?” When I heard that something clicked into place for me. It reminded me that what happens in my life is not because I made it happen or figured it out. What happens in my life is by the grace of God. Everything is a gift to me. I’m not saying I now have a license to sit on my tush all day and eat cookies, but it takes the outcome of things out of my hands. I still do the footwork, I still have to call places and leave messages and ask for help but ultimately I’M NOT IN CHARGE. Ultimately I do not decide where the venue for this seminar will be. Or how many people will show up. Or what will happen to me in the next 10 minutes. There is a power far greater than myself that runs the show. Why do I even pretend otherwise?
The reason I bring this up is because this stress? This drama in my life? It’s completely self-induced. It’s completely my own mind stirring up a hornet’s nest. The truth is whatever happens, happens and there’s nothing I can do about it. The sooner I learn that, the better. But I also know I can cope with anything. And I know I have power over my mind and my actions. I know I can choose to make my life light and easy and joyful. That I can choose to not stress myself out over the small things. I am doing the best I can in this very moment and the rest is up to God. I can surrender my drama to a higher power. I can let events/situations move past me like a river flowing around rocks. I can relax and release and surrender.
I dream of a world where when we get wound up we wind ourselves back down. A world where we recognize the power of our minds to solve anything. A world where we do not get stressed out because we are fully surrendered in each and every moment. A world where we know and believe and act as if a power greater than ourselves is in charge. And instead of feeling scared by the prospect we rejoice because that means we can live footloose and fancy free. I dream of a world where life is light and easy and joyful. A world where we change our perspective on things so we can truly live joyfully at all times.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
Right now I’m feeling some tightness in my heart because there are some things I want so badly. I’m comparing myself to other people and wanting what they have. Inherent in those feelings of jealousy and envy is the idea of “can’t.” Why can’t I go to
I think about the book/movie that came out a few years ago, “The Secret,” which details the law of attraction. In essence, the recommendations are think about what you want, really believe you will get it with all your heart, think about it as if you already have it, visualize it, feel good and positive in your life, and feel gratitude for what you already have.
I’m reminding myself the only barrier to anything in life is my own mind. I think about how I’ve always gotten what I wanted – not necessarily in the timeframe I had in mind, but it’s always come true. I think about how a few years ago I walked past the National Cathedral and said to myself, “One day I want to live in this neighborhood.” Three years later I did. I said the same thing about living in
My point though is I’m not a special case. It’s not like only the things I want most in the world come true. Our minds are powerful beyond measure. If we get out of our own way, anything is possible (and probable). Instead of spiraling into negativity saying things like, “Oh, it’s too expensive,” or “I’ll never get the time off,” or whatever it is, I’d rather be in a place of complete trust and surrender. I’d rather be in the place where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt all my deepest wishes will come true at the proper moment. Where I believe there are no blocks in my life, there are no hindrances, only open skies and smooth sailing.
I dream of a world where we all move through life with love and ease and grace feeling at peace with our lives because we know what we wish will come true. Where we are each our own biggest ally, where we know the mind can accomplish anything and indeed it will. I dream of a world where we feel gratitude for our lives knowing what we want comes to us, because it always does. A world where we understand our own power. A world where we experience life as the magical existence we always thought it could be.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
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