I feel contracted about money right now because the situation with one of my highest-paying clients is in flux. Not only that, I’m spending a lot of money all at once for this upcoming Australia trip. I didn’t know what I was signing myself up for, honestly, because I booked the ticket semi-impulsively. My response is wanting to hoard money like a dragon sitting on her riches. “Amass all the wealth! Spend none of it!” In other words, it’s a good time to remind myself of a concept I learned almost exactly three years ago: “It’s not your money.”
We’ve been socially conditioned to believe it’s our money, our house, our bodies, our whatever, but nothing is truly “ours” in a permanent way. We’re caretakers for right now and that’s it. If the concept doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine, but I find it helpful to remember everything belongs to the divine beloved because it helps me feel more relaxed.
Whenever I think something is “mine,” I start grasping, controlling, and getting overwhelmed. If I think money is mine, I start freaking out when I spend it, want to stockpile it when I receive it, and worry about how to get more. I start wondering if I spent too much on the plane ticket, if I chose the wrong hotel, and maybe I should cancel this once-in-a-lifetime experience to stay home instead. It’s not fun and it’s also no way to live. Life is about giving and receiving. Not only receiving.
This isn’t ours. Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash
The solution to the fear I’m feeling comes down to faith. Faith is not rational, scientific, or evidence-based. Faith is the opposite of all those things. It’s belief without proof. That’s not just my definition; the dictionary defines faith in the same way. That means I have to actively, consciously, choose to believe I’ll be OK financially speaking. That money will continue to flow in and out of my life and furthermore, it’s not mine to control anyway.
I’m reminded of a Sanskrit phrase for meditation, Iishvara prańidhána, or seeking shelter in the Supreme. My spiritual teacher says, “Iishvara prańidhána also implies implicit faith in [the divine] irrespective of whether one lives in momentary happiness or sorrow, prosperity or adversity.”
Essentially, that means letting your life belong to love, to quote Tosha Silver, the author of the book It’s Not Your Money. It means letting go of control and recognizing there is a divine presence here, at this moment, in every moment. It means remembering a loving force moves through me and you. Furthermore, I can consciously invite that loving force into my life. It means saying, “Hey God/higher power/universe, I want you to take care of this. Please guide my actions. I trust where you are leading me,” and then letting go, knowing whatever needs to come, comes, and whatever needs to go, goes.
It’s not easy by any means but neither is the alternative. I’d rather feel happy, joyous, and free than sad, depressed, and imprisoned. For me, that means trusting and surrendering.
I dream of a world where we remember nothing in this universe is truly “ours.” A world where we recognize there is a power and presence that’s in charge. A world where we put our trust in something greater than ourselves. A world where we’re able to surrender and let go of our micromanaging tendencies and fully trust all true needs will be met, and often in amazing and wonderful ways. A world where we understand it’s not our money.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.
I’m rereading a book I first picked up two years ago, Tosha Silver’s It’s Not Your Money, and I’m finding it’s just as powerful now as it was then. The title itself is a good place to start. It sums up the idea that nothing on this planet is truly “ours” in a permanent way. We are merely caretakers for the time being. You may think the money sitting in the bank under your name is yours, that the home you stay in belongs to you, but it doesn’t. Everything, EVERYTHING on this planet belongs to the divine beloved. At least, that’s the concept Tosha is touting.
It’s a concept that works for me because whenever I think something is “mine,” I start grasping, controlling, and getting overwhelmed. If I think money is mine, I start freaking out when I spend it, want to hoard it when I receive it, and worry about how to get more. “Am I investing properly? Am I maximizing my IRA? Should I move to a different bank?” I know that works for some people, but friends, that does. not. work. for. me.
Instead, I feel relief when I remember I’m not operating alone in this world. I can ask for help from my friends and community members. I can remember there is an ever-present loving entity that wants to help me, that’s running this entire show anyway. Tosha remarks people often say, “You’ll never find a parking spot in that area,” or “You’ll never find a house in this market.” Her response is, “You’re right. You won’t find a house in this market . . . without God.” It’s recognizing with God/source/the universe anything and everything is possible. If something is in our best interest, if it’s in our highest good, the Supreme will make it so. Even if parking is terrible, the housing market is fiercely competitive, the economy is in the toilet, etc.
Maybe we’re little hearts that belong to a bigger heart. Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash
There’s one line from Tosha’s book in particular that I wrote on a piece of masking tape two years ago and affixed above my doorknob so that I see it every time I enter and exit my house. She mentions the importance of letting go of old stories and recognizing no matter what happened in the past, we can do things differently. We can live a new reality. She said, “This life now belongs to love and anything can happen.” When I remember this life now belongs to love and anything can happen, I open myself up to magic and possibilities. I let myself be taken care of by something greater than myself.
This concept about letting life belong to love means letting love lead the way. It’s about letting go of control and recognizing there is a divine presence here, in this moment, in every moment. That a loving force moves through me and through you. And furthermore, we can consciously invite that loving force into our lives.
I’ve been on the spiritual path for a long time and I still need the reminder that surrender doesn’t end the minute I leave my meditation cushion. Real surrender means saying, “Hey God/higher power/universe, I want you to take care of this. Please guide my actions. I trust where you are leading me,” and then we let go, knowing whatever needs to come, comes, and whatever needs to go, goes. We let this life belong to love.
I dream of a world where we recognize the power and the presence of a loving force in our lives. A world where we’re able to surrender and let go of our micromanaging tendencies and fully trust all true needs will be met, and often in amazing and wonderful ways. A world where we realize we will never walk alone if we let our lives belong to love.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.